Korea needs a Leave Out Violence program but not just in their schools they should have Anti violence classes or course workshops in work places too . Violence has been part of their lives for a very long time. Let me explain myself by what I mean when I say Violence violence to me is anything to causes any type of pain to another.
Bullying, name calling , stalking, these are some of the things you can find alot in Korea. Bullying seems to be a normal thing and is not taken as seriously as it should people are killing themselves everyday needlessly in Korea. Parents have gone through the same trails in their lives and so they do not put a stop to it instead figure that they over came it so would their child? who knows all I know is people have died and will continue to die until something is done about the violent ways of their people. Everyone is affected by bullying and all the rest but no one is doing anything to change things to make things better for all Koreas people.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Kd9-OORlV0&feature=share&list=PL4317589E2AC0E6C8
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Thursday, August 9, 2012
My motherhood story
My Motherhood story
If you are reading this you are very special and important to me.
let me take you inside both my heart and mind as I explain how I chose to become a mother.
For as long as I can remember I wanted to be a mother, when I was 12 I started dreaming about owning an orphanage and adopting many kids , all the kids really.
When I was 13 I started having dreams I would be a single mother, those dreams scared me very much. Over the course of my life I became to realize not only how much I desired having a family of my own , but how strong I truly was.
The older I was getting the more I was sure I wanted to be a mother more than anything , when I held Ryanna Byanka Thomas and Andii for the first time I always wished for a child of my own to love and nurture.
every year I knew my chances of being a mother were slimming, I wasn't very good at talking with men and non of the ones I met wanted a family. I knew the older I got the harder it would be to have a child, time is not always kind to a woman's body.
I was coming to realize I had 2 choices in life, I could continue to wait for (the one) a man to enter my life and make me his wife and mother of his children , or I could make my own dreams come true. I know many look down on the method I was considering but was I willing to risk living a life without having the one thing I always yearned for? would I wait and then regret never having the family I wanted. I knew by the time I was even likely to find a man and be ready to settle down with him , my chances to have a child would have lessened considerably. I wanted to know I would have a chance at meeting my grandchildren should my child ever have children of their own somewhere in the future. And so in the last days of July I decided I was going to find out about Artificial Insemination, I had already started to think about baby names and was excited at the thought of having a child to love and raise.
On the 6th of August I called and made an appointment on the 8th I was seeing a doctor talking about being pregnant and all it entailed I was so excited. I was nervous it was a big step to take all alone, I knew I would have support and that helped keep me calm. I had decided on the final names I would name my child or children in case I happened to have twins. I decided if I had a daughter she would be named after my dear and departed friend Ira her name would be spelled Aira and would use the Japanese characters that made her name mean love orchid her middle would be Jackielen = Jacquelen I had long since decided son or daughter Jack would be part of their name. JACK is used for the women who made me who I am June Jessie Angie Christina Christal Karen my mother my sisters of heart soul and blood and my second mother. Ja ki len in Japanese means Attractive/Captivate precious Lotus where as my boy Ren Jacksen means Lotus.
I had made some decisions about who I would have as god parents and whom I would have take care of you should I ever perish before you were of legal age to care for yourself. If I had a daughter Aira would have 2 godmothers Christal and Angie if I had a son Mat would be Ren's godfather. Should I expire before my time Angelika would be the one to raise my child. I picked Mat as a godfather because I trust him to teach you the difference between right and wrong, he will love you and cherish you. Christal is my big sister who loved and cherished and protected me my whole life she would always love you and keep you safe. Angie she was my choice for so many reasons you see recently before I had completely made my choice about having a baby I watched a movie it will be an old movie by the time you read this but I think it will still be a good one. The movie Raising Aunt Helen is about an aunt who ends up becoming responsible for her departed sisters 3 children . The sister had written a letter as to why Helen had gotten the guardianship instead of their older sister the one who seemed like the best choice being a mother herself. In the letter it said " it's not about who would be the best for the job but who is most like the mother they have lost."
I was puzzling over those words of truth and the simple truth was no one is like me but she will love like me and respect you like me. Angie knows how to care and love and treasure a child and person so completely. I know she would not steer you wrong and would love you cherish you protect and guide you the way only a mother can, the way only someone who truly loves you would. You will never be alone in life as long as my dear friends and their families are around. If Angie can't take care of you Christina will for those exact reasons. These two women are my best friends and they mean the most to me they are the best candidates to take my place as your mother when my time to cross the river of life comes.
I had already decided which man would be the donor by the night of August 8th , it was the first profile I read. He was a Korean man well educated and had similar interests to my own. He was a kind man who wanted to help others who couldn't have children on their own have children. He was a married man with two sons of his own , how many children he had fathered through donation I do not know. I worry about how you will feel about such things, I hope to love you enough that not having a father does not burden you. I picked the man who biologically is your father because I felt he was the right person to help my dreams of being a mother come true. you will maybe wonder why I decided on a man who was Korean instead of another person the same as myself, I wanted a Korean baby because I loved how open Koreans seemed to be. I wanted an Asian baby , I believe in the Asian practice of family being an important blessing and coming first and foremost. Though times have changed a great deal. I picked Korean out of all Asians because at the end of the day I find them to be the most beautiful of men. I know you will be such an amazing wonderful part of my life and I look forward to the life we will share. Like the lotus we will start on the bottom of the pound and grow into something of beauty and strength. I will keep writing you throughout the pregnancy and throughout the tough times in our life together, I will write the profound questions you ask as a child and their answers so you may always remember the truths of what we shared.
During the next while not much happened, I needed to do tests to make sure I was healthy enough to have a baby. no one in the family knew about my choice to have a baby no one except Auntie Wendy and Uncle Lou. I wanted it to be a surprise for Nanny . I talked about being a mother and the hopes I have for our life together with my friends online , we got pretty silly sometimes but it kept me happy and worry free. Even though I have chosen to be a mother it was still very scary for me, but I couldn't wait til the day I could hold my precious child in my arms.
I had to talk to a shrink because I was going to have a baby with a donor they want to make sure you are ready to raise children in a special way. She was shocked when I told her I was writing this journal for you , shocked and pleased I was thinking about you to this degree. I was given a book that talks about how I should explain the circumstances of your birth to you. I disagreed with it however and so I will tell you in my own way . In the ways I have been telling you all along, I was given help by someone who cared enough to help women have the babies they wanted to love.
Sometimes I felt like people were trying to scare me from becoming a mother, my friends online calmed me and supported me telling me I was doing right. There was one night I was talking with my friend Sijin about my visit with the shrink and how I didn't agree with the method to tell you about being born through a donor and we started to talk about how I could tell you how babies are made and where they come from. this is a copy of that conversation.
I'll use the kids fave meal as an example xD
[9:09:04 PM] SiJin Maxine Minnemi: LoL. recipe.. only GOD knows what..
[9:11:02 PM] Marie: well honey making a baby is making mac and cheese you see mommys insides is like the pot we cook the noodles in the water is like mommy's love filling the pot full the noodles are given from inside the daddy devotion is like the cheese and maturity is the butter that melts on top of it responsibility is the bowl we put the mac and cheese in and eat from trusting that it will taste delicious xD
[9:11:50 PM] Marie: bam! there is the baby recipe xD
[9:11:56 PM] SiJin Maxine Minnemi: kyaaaaaa ~ ~ i love mac and cheese!
[9:12:09 PM] SiJin Maxine Minnemi: i just had breakfast.. now im hungry ><
[9:12:14 PM] Marie: haha
[9:12:25 PM] SiJin Maxine Minnemi: LOL. baby recipe! gosh... cant you be less creative Marie?
[9:12:26 PM] SiJin Maxine Minnemi: XD
[9:12:30 PM] Marie: my baby recipe made you hungry o.O HIDE YOUR CHILDREN!
we laughed over it for a long while as I write this I think to myself there is no way I will really explain thing to you in such a way but I must smile knowing I really might.
I almost did not get the donor I wanted I was worried I prayed and prayed and prayed and in the end god answered my prayers and I was able to get the donor I felt was my perfect match. The donor who biologically is your father however I hope that by the time you read this you will have a father in all the ways that count heart soul and spirit. a father who loves you as though you are of his flesh.
I was inseminated on November 6th 2012 it was a very fast process, I prayed a lot hoping and wishing that it worked and that I would be having a bundle of joy to care for in 9 months time. I was a little sick when I got it done and it cause minor difficulties , I wasn't sure what I go do to get back to health and not risk losing the baby I may or may not have been pregnant with. The day after insemination I was very ill the day after it as well . I had migraines and was sensitive to the light, it was not pleasant and still I prayed hoping god would keep not only me healthy but the life I was hoping to bring into this world as well . I asked god to help heal me so that I could be healthy and bring a child into the world. I thanked god for answering my prayers thus far and told him how I wanted to do right raise my child to help others and care for their peers.
The next day it seemed like morning sickness was coming over me but honestly I still have no idea if it was morning sickness or just sickness. I decided to go to Ottawa to spend time with Uncle Dan I knew I could heal and rest there since I was having a hard time sleeping in my home with Uncle Gary's friend Luc over. And so I left for a week and it felt great! I found out that Wed Nov 13th that Aunty Nadia was pregnant again . I worried about Nanny I knew she would be hurt because Uncle Luc and her are not talking and he does not let her see your cousins. I decided then as soon as I knew I was pregnant I would tell Nanny , I hoped that maybe it would make her a little less sad knowing that there was a child expected to come into the world that she could welcome with open arms who would welcome her with a open heart. Family and Friendship are the most important things to me, no matter what they do we must always love and cherish those relationships. God brought us together for a reason we need each other we can bring out the best as we can bring out the worse in each other. No matter how many times I am hurt and betrayed no matter how many times they do things I do not agree with I love my family , I will love you with everything I have and I hope you will never feel burdened by the family I brought you into.
If you are reading this you are very special and important to me.
let me take you inside both my heart and mind as I explain how I chose to become a mother.
For as long as I can remember I wanted to be a mother, when I was 12 I started dreaming about owning an orphanage and adopting many kids , all the kids really.
When I was 13 I started having dreams I would be a single mother, those dreams scared me very much. Over the course of my life I became to realize not only how much I desired having a family of my own , but how strong I truly was.
The older I was getting the more I was sure I wanted to be a mother more than anything , when I held Ryanna Byanka Thomas and Andii for the first time I always wished for a child of my own to love and nurture.
every year I knew my chances of being a mother were slimming, I wasn't very good at talking with men and non of the ones I met wanted a family. I knew the older I got the harder it would be to have a child, time is not always kind to a woman's body.
I was coming to realize I had 2 choices in life, I could continue to wait for (the one) a man to enter my life and make me his wife and mother of his children , or I could make my own dreams come true. I know many look down on the method I was considering but was I willing to risk living a life without having the one thing I always yearned for? would I wait and then regret never having the family I wanted. I knew by the time I was even likely to find a man and be ready to settle down with him , my chances to have a child would have lessened considerably. I wanted to know I would have a chance at meeting my grandchildren should my child ever have children of their own somewhere in the future. And so in the last days of July I decided I was going to find out about Artificial Insemination, I had already started to think about baby names and was excited at the thought of having a child to love and raise.
On the 6th of August I called and made an appointment on the 8th I was seeing a doctor talking about being pregnant and all it entailed I was so excited. I was nervous it was a big step to take all alone, I knew I would have support and that helped keep me calm. I had decided on the final names I would name my child or children in case I happened to have twins. I decided if I had a daughter she would be named after my dear and departed friend Ira her name would be spelled Aira and would use the Japanese characters that made her name mean love orchid her middle would be Jackielen = Jacquelen I had long since decided son or daughter Jack would be part of their name. JACK is used for the women who made me who I am June Jessie Angie Christina Christal Karen my mother my sisters of heart soul and blood and my second mother. Ja ki len in Japanese means Attractive/Captivate precious Lotus where as my boy Ren Jacksen means Lotus.
I had made some decisions about who I would have as god parents and whom I would have take care of you should I ever perish before you were of legal age to care for yourself. If I had a daughter Aira would have 2 godmothers Christal and Angie if I had a son Mat would be Ren's godfather. Should I expire before my time Angelika would be the one to raise my child. I picked Mat as a godfather because I trust him to teach you the difference between right and wrong, he will love you and cherish you. Christal is my big sister who loved and cherished and protected me my whole life she would always love you and keep you safe. Angie she was my choice for so many reasons you see recently before I had completely made my choice about having a baby I watched a movie it will be an old movie by the time you read this but I think it will still be a good one. The movie Raising Aunt Helen is about an aunt who ends up becoming responsible for her departed sisters 3 children . The sister had written a letter as to why Helen had gotten the guardianship instead of their older sister the one who seemed like the best choice being a mother herself. In the letter it said " it's not about who would be the best for the job but who is most like the mother they have lost."
I was puzzling over those words of truth and the simple truth was no one is like me but she will love like me and respect you like me. Angie knows how to care and love and treasure a child and person so completely. I know she would not steer you wrong and would love you cherish you protect and guide you the way only a mother can, the way only someone who truly loves you would. You will never be alone in life as long as my dear friends and their families are around. If Angie can't take care of you Christina will for those exact reasons. These two women are my best friends and they mean the most to me they are the best candidates to take my place as your mother when my time to cross the river of life comes.
I had already decided which man would be the donor by the night of August 8th , it was the first profile I read. He was a Korean man well educated and had similar interests to my own. He was a kind man who wanted to help others who couldn't have children on their own have children. He was a married man with two sons of his own , how many children he had fathered through donation I do not know. I worry about how you will feel about such things, I hope to love you enough that not having a father does not burden you. I picked the man who biologically is your father because I felt he was the right person to help my dreams of being a mother come true. you will maybe wonder why I decided on a man who was Korean instead of another person the same as myself, I wanted a Korean baby because I loved how open Koreans seemed to be. I wanted an Asian baby , I believe in the Asian practice of family being an important blessing and coming first and foremost. Though times have changed a great deal. I picked Korean out of all Asians because at the end of the day I find them to be the most beautiful of men. I know you will be such an amazing wonderful part of my life and I look forward to the life we will share. Like the lotus we will start on the bottom of the pound and grow into something of beauty and strength. I will keep writing you throughout the pregnancy and throughout the tough times in our life together, I will write the profound questions you ask as a child and their answers so you may always remember the truths of what we shared.
During the next while not much happened, I needed to do tests to make sure I was healthy enough to have a baby. no one in the family knew about my choice to have a baby no one except Auntie Wendy and Uncle Lou. I wanted it to be a surprise for Nanny . I talked about being a mother and the hopes I have for our life together with my friends online , we got pretty silly sometimes but it kept me happy and worry free. Even though I have chosen to be a mother it was still very scary for me, but I couldn't wait til the day I could hold my precious child in my arms.
I had to talk to a shrink because I was going to have a baby with a donor they want to make sure you are ready to raise children in a special way. She was shocked when I told her I was writing this journal for you , shocked and pleased I was thinking about you to this degree. I was given a book that talks about how I should explain the circumstances of your birth to you. I disagreed with it however and so I will tell you in my own way . In the ways I have been telling you all along, I was given help by someone who cared enough to help women have the babies they wanted to love.
Sometimes I felt like people were trying to scare me from becoming a mother, my friends online calmed me and supported me telling me I was doing right. There was one night I was talking with my friend Sijin about my visit with the shrink and how I didn't agree with the method to tell you about being born through a donor and we started to talk about how I could tell you how babies are made and where they come from. this is a copy of that conversation.
I'll use the kids fave meal as an example xD
[9:09:04 PM] SiJin Maxine Minnemi: LoL. recipe.. only GOD knows what..
[9:11:02 PM] Marie: well honey making a baby is making mac and cheese you see mommys insides is like the pot we cook the noodles in the water is like mommy's love filling the pot full the noodles are given from inside the daddy devotion is like the cheese and maturity is the butter that melts on top of it responsibility is the bowl we put the mac and cheese in and eat from trusting that it will taste delicious xD
[9:11:50 PM] Marie: bam! there is the baby recipe xD
[9:11:56 PM] SiJin Maxine Minnemi: kyaaaaaa ~ ~ i love mac and cheese!
[9:12:09 PM] SiJin Maxine Minnemi: i just had breakfast.. now im hungry ><
[9:12:14 PM] Marie: haha
[9:12:25 PM] SiJin Maxine Minnemi: LOL. baby recipe! gosh... cant you be less creative Marie?
[9:12:26 PM] SiJin Maxine Minnemi: XD
[9:12:30 PM] Marie: my baby recipe made you hungry o.O HIDE YOUR CHILDREN!
we laughed over it for a long while as I write this I think to myself there is no way I will really explain thing to you in such a way but I must smile knowing I really might.
I almost did not get the donor I wanted I was worried I prayed and prayed and prayed and in the end god answered my prayers and I was able to get the donor I felt was my perfect match. The donor who biologically is your father however I hope that by the time you read this you will have a father in all the ways that count heart soul and spirit. a father who loves you as though you are of his flesh.
I was inseminated on November 6th 2012 it was a very fast process, I prayed a lot hoping and wishing that it worked and that I would be having a bundle of joy to care for in 9 months time. I was a little sick when I got it done and it cause minor difficulties , I wasn't sure what I go do to get back to health and not risk losing the baby I may or may not have been pregnant with. The day after insemination I was very ill the day after it as well . I had migraines and was sensitive to the light, it was not pleasant and still I prayed hoping god would keep not only me healthy but the life I was hoping to bring into this world as well . I asked god to help heal me so that I could be healthy and bring a child into the world. I thanked god for answering my prayers thus far and told him how I wanted to do right raise my child to help others and care for their peers.
The next day it seemed like morning sickness was coming over me but honestly I still have no idea if it was morning sickness or just sickness. I decided to go to Ottawa to spend time with Uncle Dan I knew I could heal and rest there since I was having a hard time sleeping in my home with Uncle Gary's friend Luc over. And so I left for a week and it felt great! I found out that Wed Nov 13th that Aunty Nadia was pregnant again . I worried about Nanny I knew she would be hurt because Uncle Luc and her are not talking and he does not let her see your cousins. I decided then as soon as I knew I was pregnant I would tell Nanny , I hoped that maybe it would make her a little less sad knowing that there was a child expected to come into the world that she could welcome with open arms who would welcome her with a open heart. Family and Friendship are the most important things to me, no matter what they do we must always love and cherish those relationships. God brought us together for a reason we need each other we can bring out the best as we can bring out the worse in each other. No matter how many times I am hurt and betrayed no matter how many times they do things I do not agree with I love my family , I will love you with everything I have and I hope you will never feel burdened by the family I brought you into.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
love the way you lie
So the other day I was doing some research for my other blog to show the mindset of "fans" known as Sasaengs when I found a "stalking" video the video shows footage of Yoochun Park former member of TVXQ dbsk and member of JYJ being stalked by sasaeng. The thing that shocked me more than the video was the song used as audio for the video it was the first verse of Love The Way You Lie pt2 by rihanna.
The first verse goes like so
On the first page of our story, the future seems so bright.
And this thing turned out so evil, I don’t know why I’m still surprised.
Even angels have their wicked schemes and you take that to new extremes.
But you’ll always be my hero, even though you lost your mind.
do let me know if I am wrong but it seems to me as though the sasaeng is surprised that the idols dislike their actions and believe they are crazy .
On the first page of our story, the future seems so bright.
And this thing turned out so evil, I don’t know why I’m still surprised.
Even angels have their wicked schemes and you take that to new extremes.
But you’ll always be my hero, even though you lost your mind.
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie.
I love the way you lie.
Now this gravel in our voices, glass is shattered from the fight.
In this tug of war, you’ll always win, even when I’m right.
Cause you feed me fables from your hand,
With violet words and empty threats and it’s sick that all these battles are what keeps me satisfied.
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie.
Ohhh, I love the way you lie.
So maybe I’m a masochist
I try to run but I don’t wanna ever leave.
Til the walls are goin’ up in smoke with all our memories.
[Eminem]
This morning, you wake, a sunray hits your face
smeared makeup as we lay in the wake of destruction
hush baby, speak softly, tell me I’ll be sorry that you
pushed me into the coffee table last night so I can push you off me
try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me
run out the room and I’ll follow you like a lost puppy
baby, without you, I’m nothing, I’m so lost, hug me
then tell me how ugly I am, but that you’ll always love me
then after that, shove me, in the aftermath of the
destructive path that we’re on, two psychopaths but we
know that no matter how many knives we put in each other’s backs
that we’ll have each other’s backs, ’cause we’re that lucky
together, we move mountains, let’s not make mountains out of molehills,
you hit me twice, yeah, but who’s countin’
I may have hit you three times, I’m startin’ to lose count
but together, we’ll live forever, we found the youth fountain
our love is crazy, we’re nuts, but I refused counselin’
this house is too huge, if you move out I’ll burn all two thousand
square feet of it to the ground, ain’t shit you can do about it
with you I’m in my f–kin’ mind, without you, I’m out it
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie.
Ohhh, I love the way you lie.
I love the way you lie.
the way the lyrics should go for the guys
On the first page of our story, the future seems so bright.
And this thing turned out so evil, I don’t know why I’m still surprised.
Even angels have their wicked schemes and you take that to new extremes.
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie.
I love the way you lie.
Now this gravel in our voices, glass is shattered from the fight.
In this tug of war, you’ll always win, even when I’m right.
Cause you feed me fables from your hand,
With violet words and empty threats and it’s sick you lost your mind.
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie.
Ohhh, I love the way you lie.
So maybe I’m a masochist
I try to run but I don’t wanna ever leave.
Til the walls are goin’ up in smoke with all our memories.
[Eminem]
This morning, you wake, a sunray hits your face
smeared makeup in the wake of destruction
hush baby, speak softly, tell me I’ll be sorry that you
pushed me into the coffee table last night so I can push you off me
try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me
then tell me baby, without you, I’m nothing, I’m so lost, hug me
then tell me how ugly I am, but that you’ll always love me
then after that, shove me, in the aftermath of the
destructive path that we’re on, two psychopaths let’s not make mountains out of molehills,
you hit me twice, yeah, but who’s countin’
I may have hit you three times, I’m startin’ to lose count
Your love is crazy, we’re nuts, ain’t shit you can do about it
without you, I’m in my f–kin’ mind, with you I’m out it
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie.
Ohhh, I love the way you lie.
I love the way you lie.
The reason for the words like this easy in the beginning the guys didn't really have such crazy sasaengs but then the outrageous things started to happen The things they did got worse and worse and although they seem innocent those sasaengs are evil! Fans Lie they claim to love their "Oppa's" but instead they hurt them over and over again building them up and trying to crush them. The men keep entertaining because it is who they are they cannot stop and honestly I think even if they did stop they would still be stalked regardless. They love their fans and are tormented by everything. The sasaengs beat on the guys alot and there have been times they have defended themselves and times where they have been violent having had enough of the abuse they suffer at the hands of the Sasaengs. There is a love hate relationship between idol and sasaeng fans sasaengs overly love them and love them in a bad way and sometimes they hate the idols for their rejection but still love them meanwhile idols hate sasaeng actions and most do not consider them fans twisted fans. so yes that is that I am mainly rambling on .
now I will end the blog with what I am currently listening to
The first verse goes like so
On the first page of our story, the future seems so bright.
And this thing turned out so evil, I don’t know why I’m still surprised.
Even angels have their wicked schemes and you take that to new extremes.
But you’ll always be my hero, even though you lost your mind.
do let me know if I am wrong but it seems to me as though the sasaeng is surprised that the idols dislike their actions and believe they are crazy .
On the first page of our story, the future seems so bright.
And this thing turned out so evil, I don’t know why I’m still surprised.
Even angels have their wicked schemes and you take that to new extremes.
But you’ll always be my hero, even though you lost your mind.
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie.
I love the way you lie.
Now this gravel in our voices, glass is shattered from the fight.
In this tug of war, you’ll always win, even when I’m right.
Cause you feed me fables from your hand,
With violet words and empty threats and it’s sick that all these battles are what keeps me satisfied.
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie.
Ohhh, I love the way you lie.
So maybe I’m a masochist
I try to run but I don’t wanna ever leave.
Til the walls are goin’ up in smoke with all our memories.
[Eminem]
This morning, you wake, a sunray hits your face
smeared makeup as we lay in the wake of destruction
hush baby, speak softly, tell me I’ll be sorry that you
pushed me into the coffee table last night so I can push you off me
try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me
run out the room and I’ll follow you like a lost puppy
baby, without you, I’m nothing, I’m so lost, hug me
then tell me how ugly I am, but that you’ll always love me
then after that, shove me, in the aftermath of the
destructive path that we’re on, two psychopaths but we
know that no matter how many knives we put in each other’s backs
that we’ll have each other’s backs, ’cause we’re that lucky
together, we move mountains, let’s not make mountains out of molehills,
you hit me twice, yeah, but who’s countin’
I may have hit you three times, I’m startin’ to lose count
but together, we’ll live forever, we found the youth fountain
our love is crazy, we’re nuts, but I refused counselin’
this house is too huge, if you move out I’ll burn all two thousand
square feet of it to the ground, ain’t shit you can do about it
with you I’m in my f–kin’ mind, without you, I’m out it
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie.
Ohhh, I love the way you lie.
I love the way you lie.
the way the lyrics should go for the guys
On the first page of our story, the future seems so bright.
And this thing turned out so evil, I don’t know why I’m still surprised.
Even angels have their wicked schemes and you take that to new extremes.
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie.
I love the way you lie.
Now this gravel in our voices, glass is shattered from the fight.
In this tug of war, you’ll always win, even when I’m right.
Cause you feed me fables from your hand,
With violet words and empty threats and it’s sick you lost your mind.
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie.
Ohhh, I love the way you lie.
So maybe I’m a masochist
I try to run but I don’t wanna ever leave.
Til the walls are goin’ up in smoke with all our memories.
[Eminem]
This morning, you wake, a sunray hits your face
smeared makeup in the wake of destruction
hush baby, speak softly, tell me I’ll be sorry that you
pushed me into the coffee table last night so I can push you off me
try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me
then tell me baby, without you, I’m nothing, I’m so lost, hug me
then tell me how ugly I am, but that you’ll always love me
then after that, shove me, in the aftermath of the
destructive path that we’re on, two psychopaths let’s not make mountains out of molehills,
you hit me twice, yeah, but who’s countin’
I may have hit you three times, I’m startin’ to lose count
Your love is crazy, we’re nuts, ain’t shit you can do about it
without you, I’m in my f–kin’ mind, with you I’m out it
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie.
Ohhh, I love the way you lie.
I love the way you lie.
The reason for the words like this easy in the beginning the guys didn't really have such crazy sasaengs but then the outrageous things started to happen The things they did got worse and worse and although they seem innocent those sasaengs are evil! Fans Lie they claim to love their "Oppa's" but instead they hurt them over and over again building them up and trying to crush them. The men keep entertaining because it is who they are they cannot stop and honestly I think even if they did stop they would still be stalked regardless. They love their fans and are tormented by everything. The sasaengs beat on the guys alot and there have been times they have defended themselves and times where they have been violent having had enough of the abuse they suffer at the hands of the Sasaengs. There is a love hate relationship between idol and sasaeng fans sasaengs overly love them and love them in a bad way and sometimes they hate the idols for their rejection but still love them meanwhile idols hate sasaeng actions and most do not consider them fans twisted fans. so yes that is that I am mainly rambling on .
now I will end the blog with what I am currently listening to
Monday, May 28, 2012
I finally Updated!
I have become a bad blog owner I am so sorry I have no abandoned you merely turned you into an out door cat left to hunt for your own food lol ok ok just kidding. So an update on my life is in order I guess I am still very involved in my Korean Entertainment Industry cause working hard on my blog for it that has yet to have any followers but still gets a nice amount of views. that blog is http://happybunnychan-justiceforall.blogspot.com I have started to add writing by friends on it about how they feel about Korean Entertainers and the impact it has had on their lives and the opinions they have on everything going on in that industry so far I have 2 blogs about it.
http://aniahspeaks.wordpress.com/2012/05/29/fangirling-lets-talk-about-asian-stalker-fans/
and this one is in Turkish and she will be translating all my posts for her blog readers once she gains more viewers
http://layaboutheotaku.wordpress.com/2012/05/28/dikkat-sasaeng-cikabilir/
http://messcip.tumblr.com/
This Tumblr user is also from the group her post is also related to the cause for most part not always though my own tumblr is much of the same many kpop things and other things too http://www.tumblr.com/blog/emjahay now for my news well I am currently looking for an apt with my uncle , I want to have a baby next year would be great I want to talk to my friend about artificial insemination since that is one of the only ways I am likely to get pregnant. I figure I have 2 options wait for the what might happen and waste away to a bitter old woman who never got the one thing she desired or go for it and try struggle and raise a child and be grateful for what I got.
I am babysitting for my BFF it can be challenging sometimes but I feel it's my duty to help her as best I can . She has always helped me when I needed her for a good 14 years she has never let me suffer alone when she knew I needed her she was there.
Currently watching
http://aniahspeaks.wordpress.com/2012/05/29/fangirling-lets-talk-about-asian-stalker-fans/
and this one is in Turkish and she will be translating all my posts for her blog readers once she gains more viewers
http://layaboutheotaku.wordpress.com/2012/05/28/dikkat-sasaeng-cikabilir/
http://messcip.tumblr.com/
This Tumblr user is also from the group her post is also related to the cause for most part not always though my own tumblr is much of the same many kpop things and other things too http://www.tumblr.com/blog/emjahay now for my news well I am currently looking for an apt with my uncle , I want to have a baby next year would be great I want to talk to my friend about artificial insemination since that is one of the only ways I am likely to get pregnant. I figure I have 2 options wait for the what might happen and waste away to a bitter old woman who never got the one thing she desired or go for it and try struggle and raise a child and be grateful for what I got.
I am babysitting for my BFF it can be challenging sometimes but I feel it's my duty to help her as best I can . She has always helped me when I needed her for a good 14 years she has never let me suffer alone when she knew I needed her she was there.
Currently watching
Monday, March 26, 2012
my other blog
http://happybunnychan-justiceforall.blogspot.ca/2012/03/stalking.html
Please read my other blog and share it I am trying to spread the word and get more awareness for the situation going on with sasaengbums.
Please read my other blog and share it I am trying to spread the word and get more awareness for the situation going on with sasaengbums.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
the world today
it's been a long time since I posted and recently I even made a new Blogspot http://happybunnychan-justiceforall.blogspot.com/
That blog is mainly to discuss an ongoing crime in the world of entertainment in Korea (South Korea to be exact) Since it is a cause that means a lot to me (for once I have finally found a cause to be passionate about) I have decided to talk about it on this blog as well.
I decided on talking about it on here because I know I have readers even if they never comment I see the activity of my blog and know there are people reading the things I write and so I am here now to tell about the cause that has captured my heart.
I recall once writing about Fangirls well Fangirls in a sense are the reason for my concern and the cause in which I am fighting for along side many other devoted fans of Korean entertainers.
currently on Asian entertainment websites there is a grand controversy of fan treatment by Korean entertainers. Many media personnel have been misinforming the public about the truth behind their articles cutting out true facts that play major roles in all that has been going on in the Korean entertainment industry.
first things first these PRIVATES / SASAENGS-SATAEKS are not Fans not in the normal sense at any rate Sasaeng and Sataeks refer to obsessed stalkers and obsessed stalkers who follow the entertainers around in Taxi's. These "fans" stalk harass and abuse the artists to no end and have been doing so unashamed for a good 8 years to 9 years. The incidents are increasing just recently a young group called teen top was involved in a traffic accident because sataeks were following them on a wet slippery road and they collided. Thank the gods no one was injured.
There are many fans who are trying to put an end to the violent and un humanitarian ways in which these often under aged women are dealing with their so called love and infatuation towards the artists before more people start dying and taking their lives.
There are many campaigns all for the same cause I am working with one group https://www.facebook.com/groups/241956989231090/
to try and put an end to such violence since Korea does not have a law against stalkers and to show support to the entertainers going through such hard times.
We would like to make videos atm for one group that is suffering publicly and has been for the past 9 years 3 members from tvxq/dbsk the members of JYJ if you are interested in helping to support the artists who are suffering please join the facebook group.
We are not Bias in wanting to only help JYJ even if the group name is named after them we are fans of many fandoms all coming together for the same cause to Stop Sasaengs! and support the entertainers
Thank You for Your time
That blog is mainly to discuss an ongoing crime in the world of entertainment in Korea (South Korea to be exact) Since it is a cause that means a lot to me (for once I have finally found a cause to be passionate about) I have decided to talk about it on this blog as well.
I decided on talking about it on here because I know I have readers even if they never comment I see the activity of my blog and know there are people reading the things I write and so I am here now to tell about the cause that has captured my heart.
I recall once writing about Fangirls well Fangirls in a sense are the reason for my concern and the cause in which I am fighting for along side many other devoted fans of Korean entertainers.
currently on Asian entertainment websites there is a grand controversy of fan treatment by Korean entertainers. Many media personnel have been misinforming the public about the truth behind their articles cutting out true facts that play major roles in all that has been going on in the Korean entertainment industry.
first things first these PRIVATES / SASAENGS-SATAEKS are not Fans not in the normal sense at any rate Sasaeng and Sataeks refer to obsessed stalkers and obsessed stalkers who follow the entertainers around in Taxi's. These "fans" stalk harass and abuse the artists to no end and have been doing so unashamed for a good 8 years to 9 years. The incidents are increasing just recently a young group called teen top was involved in a traffic accident because sataeks were following them on a wet slippery road and they collided. Thank the gods no one was injured.
There are many fans who are trying to put an end to the violent and un humanitarian ways in which these often under aged women are dealing with their so called love and infatuation towards the artists before more people start dying and taking their lives.
There are many campaigns all for the same cause I am working with one group https://www.facebook.com/groups/241956989231090/
to try and put an end to such violence since Korea does not have a law against stalkers and to show support to the entertainers going through such hard times.
We would like to make videos atm for one group that is suffering publicly and has been for the past 9 years 3 members from tvxq/dbsk the members of JYJ if you are interested in helping to support the artists who are suffering please join the facebook group.
We are not Bias in wanting to only help JYJ even if the group name is named after them we are fans of many fandoms all coming together for the same cause to Stop Sasaengs! and support the entertainers
Thank You for Your time
Friday, February 24, 2012
first post of the new year
as my first post of the new year I should start off by wishing everyone the best in the year ahead. Best Wishes this 2012 year may you find yourself a step closer to your dreams and desires if you have yet to attain them.
since the last time I wrote alot has happened so much has happened that I barely know where to start or what to say. I do not want to be a gossip and so I will just tell you facts of my past few months.
I lost my job became closer friends with my crush got a job with my bestfriend decided to be friends only with my crush discovered I might have some feelings for an old friend of mine but as it would be long distance I'll keep those feelings locked away. I lost my job to a replacement I hate due to her incompetence in caring for the children and so I applied to college to get my first aid certificate so I can win my job back.
I expanded my manga collection by getting more volumes I was missing from some of my series. Finally I am close to finishing my homosexual romance novel Edens a boy love novel I plan to someday have as a manga.
I have gotten more kpop items my cd collection has grown I have almost all the Super Junior cds now I need to get all the sub group cds haha I also got both 2PM cds and I got a FTisland cd. other than that I got some socks with Taemin from Shinee on them as well as a pair with Heechul and one with Donghae I am waiting for the socks to arrive still that can take another 2 weeks.
I don't know what else to say so good health and much happiness to you all
currently listening to
since the last time I wrote alot has happened so much has happened that I barely know where to start or what to say. I do not want to be a gossip and so I will just tell you facts of my past few months.
I lost my job became closer friends with my crush got a job with my bestfriend decided to be friends only with my crush discovered I might have some feelings for an old friend of mine but as it would be long distance I'll keep those feelings locked away. I lost my job to a replacement I hate due to her incompetence in caring for the children and so I applied to college to get my first aid certificate so I can win my job back.
I expanded my manga collection by getting more volumes I was missing from some of my series. Finally I am close to finishing my homosexual romance novel Edens a boy love novel I plan to someday have as a manga.
I have gotten more kpop items my cd collection has grown I have almost all the Super Junior cds now I need to get all the sub group cds haha I also got both 2PM cds and I got a FTisland cd. other than that I got some socks with Taemin from Shinee on them as well as a pair with Heechul and one with Donghae I am waiting for the socks to arrive still that can take another 2 weeks.
I don't know what else to say so good health and much happiness to you all
currently listening to
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