Canada Memorial Day

Tomorrow July 1st is Canada day.

Canada day is a day I celebrate because I was born in this wonderful country I love.
July 1st is not just canada day all over Canada , in Newfoundland it is also the day of rememberance, a day to remember their fallen soldiers.

There is a part of Canadian history not many Canadians even know , In light of that I would like to share an article from a newpress that talks all about this piece of unknown and forgotten history.

Fellow Canadians often make fun of Newfies due to their accents and such but I think they should be respected for all they have done and all they do.

July 1st - Memorial Day Remembered
By Myles Higgins

Once again Canada day is upon us and once again I’ve opted to publish an article that I return to each year at this time.

With Canada Day celebrations about to go ahead I sincerely hope we do not forget that while July 1 may be a day of celebration for Canadians it is also one of the most solemn and sad days for the people of Newfoundland and Labrador.

July 1st marks the anniversary of the battle of Beaumont Hamel where so many of Newfoundland and Labrador’s best and brightest were showered with shells. A day when an entire regiment was all but wiped out.

This Memorial (Canada) Day we should not forget those valiant men.

July 1st - Memorial Day Remembered

With Memorial Day once again upon us, it seems appropriate today to reflect on the exploits of the so called “Fighting Newfoundlander” and remember those who fought or died in conflicts half way around the world.

When many people think of the Newfoundland and Labrador’s military history they immediately think of The Royal Newfoundland Regiment. Although Newfoundlanders and Labradoreans have fought with the forces of other nations and continue to distinguish themselves today in the Canadian Armed Forces, it is with a special kind of pride that we remember the exploits of that particular Regiment.

Originally formed in 1914, The Newfoundland Regiment, as it was known at the time, consisted of what many refer to as the “first 500” or “The Blue Puttees” in reference to the blue leggings worn by the men.

An entirely volunteer regiment, the men of the “first 500”, along with those who joined them later, distinguished themselves in battle after battle during World War I.

So valiant were their efforts that they were later bestowed by the King of England with the title of “Royal”, becoming the Royal Newfoundland Regiment, the name we know them by to this day.

After only six weeks of training at home, The original Newfoundland Regiment containing the “first 500” set sail out of St. John’s harbour on October 4, 1914. This first group contained some of the best examples of the type of young men Newfoundland and Labrador had produced. Many were athletes, some had been involved in various boy’s brigades and all were determined to show their pride in the Dominion of Newfoundland.

According to historical documents, the men of the Regiment had two primary goals in mind when they arrived in Europe. The first was that they were Newfoundlanders, and intended to be known as such; the other was that they had gone over to fight, not to do garrison duty in England.

At one point during their orientation on the Salisbury Plain the idea was floated that the Newfoundland contingent should join with a nearby Nova Scotia Regiment. Both groups were only the size of half a battalion and to the brass from England this seemed like a logical step. According to articles from the time the Newfoundlanders would have no part of it. They felt that if the two groups merged the contingent would lose its name, its identity and its individuality.

During the coming months the Regiment grew as new members arrived. In time, the proud men of the Newfoundland Regiment were given the opportunity they had wanted, a chance to fight for their homeland.

On the battle field these proud soldiers solidified their place in history.

The Regiment earned no less than 280 separate decorations, 77 of which were awarded to original members of the “first 500” of which 170 were killed in action. In fact, one in every seven men among the original force received some sort of military honour.

Many people have heard the name of Tommy Ricketts who was given the highest honour possible, the Victoria Cross, however many may not remember some of the other brave men who fought for their homeland under the most dire conditions.

Newfoundland and Labrador has produced many great heroes, many who are not as well known, but no less deserving of recognition.Take for example the story of Cyril Gardner, originally from British Harbour.

Lieutenant Gardner has the distinction of being the only known allied serviceman to receive the German Iron Cross during WWI.The Iron Cross which was handed out only to the bravest German military personnel was given to Gardner on the battlefield.As the story goes, Gardner’s unit was engaged in battle with a German patrol of 70 men. During the night, as hostilities wound down Gardner, who spoke German, took it upon himself to grab his gun and head out to the enemy encampment.Sneaking into the enemy camp, the Lieutenant turned his gun on the officers, capturing them unharmed. With their leadership removed the remainder of the troop immediately surrendered.

Lieutenant Cyril Gardner had single handedly captured an entire German Patrol.

Upon marching his prisoners back to his own encampment he was met by a British Officer who intended to shoot the unarmed prisoners rather than be saddled with caring for them.As the German soldiers looked on in horror Lieutenant Gardner once again demonstrated his sense of bravery by stepping into the line of fire to protect his prisoners and telling his superior officer that if one German were shot the officer would be the next one to die.

After a moment of hesitation the officer walked away and it was then that the commander of the German patrol, who had many medals on his uniform, stepped up to Gardner and removing the iron cross from his chest, pinned it on Gardner’s, to the applause and cheers of the German soldiers.

For Centuries, even before the formation of the Royal Newfoundland Regiment, the people of Newfoundland and Labrador have answered the call whenever it arrived.

Newfoundlanders and Labradoreans have been involved in major conflicts around the world since the mid 1600’s, including:

The Anglo-Dutch Wars – 1652
The War of the Austrian Succession – 1743
The Seven Year War - 1756
The American Revolution - 1775
The Napoleonic Wars – 1796
The War of 1812
World War I – 1914
World War II – 1939

Add to this the number of young men and women who have proven themselves in places like Korea, Afghanistan, Bosnia and countless other areas of conflict or peacekeeping around the world, and we can clearly see that Newfoundland and Labrador has a lot to be proud of and, on this Memorial Day, a lot to remember.

On this Memorial Day, July 1st, and throughout the remainder of the year perhaps we should all take a few minutes to visit a local legion hall or war memorial, to stop and chat with an aging veteran and to offer a little show of thanks for the sacrifice these fine men and women have made to protecting our homeland and others.

Statistics show that every day in Canada an average of 80 veterans die. That’s more than at the height of conflict in World War II.

It only takes a moment to shake a veteran’s hand or buy one a cold beer. It might seem like a small gesture and it is, but even taking a moment to express a little gratitude may just brighten the day of some of our bravest and most deserving citizens.

if you are sick stay at home

I believe it is common courtesy that when you go to someones home you do not go there ill, if you are sick stay at your own home.

I find it extremely rude to be sick and bring your sick family over to someones home for a week.

One of my older brothers and his wife do not share the same views however, they came over to my big sisters with their two children for a week while they were all sick.

My sister has a 9 year old son to take care of as a single mother she cannot afford to be falling sick, that isn't something my brother and his wife consider when they bring their sick children over.

My sister and I have both gotten sick from my brother, his wife and their two children , I had plans that I have had to cancel because there is no way I can risk making others sick as well.

I think it was selfish of them to bring their sick children to my sisters just so his wife didn't have to take care of her children but have us watch her children for her.

I think people should respect others more if you are sick stay home and get better do not go to where others can also get sick, there are only 2 places besides my home I am going to that is my sisters as she is already sick from the same cold and my uncles who never gets sick anyways.

so many things about him I like and love

the best friendship is one with understanding and acceptance

My bestfriend whom I happen to love more then most people in my life is an amazing person, he is one of the very first guys I ever felt comfortable enough around to open my heart to from the first day we met.

This person has got the be the least judgemental person I know, in fact he seems to accept almost any and everyone regardless of their faults. He does what I could never do.
I really admire and respect him and his open kindness he treats everyone equally and it is a very rare thing to see him picking sides .

I could rant and rave and pour my heart out in this blog but I don't think the true extent of my feelings can ever be written out on a piece of paper no words can truely define just what I feel inside for my one of a kind bestfriend.

love is friendship on fire

everything he does sparks one more flame in my heart.

there are things about a person that make them so special to someone, the way they laugh,sing,talk the way they smile or get nervous when you call them and they answer the phone. The way a person makes you feel reflects how you feel about them or so thats what I believe.

he makes me feel loved and important because he accepts me for who I am regardless of what I have been through. I love my bestfriend more then any other man on this earth .

my favourite times are those where I get to be with him talking joking singing and doing nothing at all but being there, when I see him get online I feel like the weight of the world on my shoulders has lifted, when he is around my worries melt away and I am able to relax and feel inner peace.

Communication

Everything always comes back to communication and how good you are at it, sometimes although I talk ALOT I am still not that great at communicating.

Everyone has different beliefs and feelings, everyone will understand things differently.
I trust my friends and those I care the most for, and hope to be equally trusted by them, if that trust faulters the pain the rift will create can be close to unbareable.

When you love someone the pain when you feel wronged and when you doubt them when you faulter in your trust is painful enough to tear holes in your heart.

Both parties end up hurt when someone doubts the intentions and thoughts of the other. If someone believes someone thinks badly of them they may feel hurt and betrayed the other did such things, while the other person is upset over the lack of faith, the benefit of the doubt they were denied.

look at me
here I am
open as a book
since the first day
I gave myself away
everything I am
I give freely
to all who know me
I hide nothing
trust in me
for I trust 1010% in you
the words I speak are true
I will not hurt you
just because I can
I will always hold out this hand
take it as you will
you can hold it
you can break it
it will always be here
don't be afraid to take it
I have a heart thats open
open for you to read
it's just like an open book
you can turn the pages freely
and read the tale it has to tell
this heart is not a diary
it doesn't have a lock nor key
everything and anything inside of me
I give fully, openly with honesty
so if you don't believe my words just recall my heart
you should know it well
I gave it to you from the start

Men should take responsibilty

Men need to take responsibility for their words and actions.
DONT TELL US THINGS IF WE AREN'T ALLOWED GETTING MAD AND UPSET OVER THEM!, don't tell us things you know will hurt us or annoy us and get under our skin then turn around and be like what's your problem with this.

You shouldn't tell a woman things that will make her upset towards another woman if you don't want her making a living moving targetted enemy out of that person.

when I speak of men taking responsibility for the things they say and/or do I do not mean oh you made me fall in love with you date me, thats just stupid.

However if a girl confesses to you and you do not rejected her flat out and you start acting like you are her boyfriend and you are saying all the things a boyfriend would and you tell her you love her and want to be with her. If you are not serious about her you need to either shut up and stop saying the things SHE WANTS to hear and say what she NEEDS to hear, if you have no intention of treating her like a gf everywhere and/or you don't plan on ever making her your real life gf shut the fuck up and stop speaking words you don't mean or plan to keep. Girls are impulsive in love they will throw everything away to be with you to get to where you are and they generally don't think twice, I know I wouldn't I want to be with someone very much right now and I am willing to throw everything away to make that happen.

I truely believe guys dont ALL mean to be assholes it just tends to happen sometimes.
The thing I have a hard time understanding is how they are able to treat " just friends" in ways they don't treat their" special female friend" , what I mean by that is often a guy will treat his best girlfriend better then his gf in some ways.

I explained one situation in my other post about that but I will share another.

Myspace.... it was popular back when and I will admit I gave in and made an account too since my friends bothering me to make one I got one, my ex got one from his bestfriend. Our friend Kerri literally made his account for him.
On my space he would always write to Kerri, Kerri and him would always post long msgs to each other and everything.
Bryan my ex had only photos of the two of them up and none of the two of us we were on each others friends list he was in my top space.
Everyone seemed to believe the two of them were dating instead of he and I, I was never even mentioned until Kerri mentioned me.
He never wrote on my wall or responded to my comments on pictures... it was the same thing on Facebook too he never paid attention to what I wrote to him. That was a very painful experience to go through.

I HATE men who make us jealous just because they find it funny when we are jealous half the time we either hate ourselves for feeling that way or hate you for making us feel that way. We are NOT proud to give in to insecurities or anger we love you and don't want or need you toying with our hearts.

On a bit of a different note and yet still dealing with men who break hearts here are two poems.
the first time I heard these poems I was around 8 years old and my cousin quoted them to me.

You started a fire that wont go away
you made me happy every day
you liften me up when I was down
you put my feet back on the ground
you brought joy back into my life
and now you stabbed me with a knife
goodbye is what they usually say
then I guess they walk away
well good bye my prescious one
I guess your work here is done.


A heart is not a playing thing
a heart is not a toy
but if you want it broken
give it to a boy
he'll tell you that he loves you
he'll tell you that it's true
but when he sees another girl
he'll say the hell with you.

there is a different version of this poem but this is what I remember her reading out loud to my sister and I.

This bunnies energy is on low since it is very late at the moment
so I shall curl up and sleep now see you in the morning
Truely yours Happy Bunny

men you need to listen

Men are either blind or stupid, maybe they are both.

Have you ever realized how men can so easily annoy and piss a girl off just from being so oblivious.
Men claim to know everything so how can they be so stupid to the obvious things in our lives.
Women know other women WAY better then a man will ever know one single woman.
If we say a girl likes you then there is a 90% chance we ARE right, do not tell us we are crazy just accept it and move on.

when a women gets betrayed by another it is rare we look back a woman who betrays another is not a woman many others will trust.

some men wonder why so many women hate some others because that woman is so nice and good to them.
WOMEN ARE NICE TO YOU! they betray us for you even if you reject them, even if they know you don't have interest in them they WILL betray us for you.
This is not every or all women thats just one of the kinds of women.

why would you trust a woman you know has betrayed others right in front of you, betraying their boyfriends asking others on dates or to go steady with them.

Worse thing in my mind is a man who trusts a woman who betrays the woman in his life, OF COURSE SHE HATE THE BITCH SHE TRIED STEALING YOU FROM HER!

My ex used to get upset at me because I hated some of his friends that were girls, of course I hated them they were hitting on him! some he almost left me for of course I didn't want to be friends with them.

Men don't think about us nearly as much as we think of them we do everything we can for them and they can barely even take our feelings into consideration,we feel the way we do for a reason so open your eyes.

Parenting

Everyone thinks They will be the best parent, people are always putting other parents down behind their backs.

There are people who give all they have to their children and go without for themselves, and yet people look at them and make foul remarks about them behind their backs.

What makes a good parent?
is it age and experience with children?
or maybe it's being strict and having rules?

I believe a good parent has balance, A parents age does not change that much, a person maybe more tolerant or less patient due to their age but I do NOT think age matters in when you have a child unless you truely are unable to raise the child well.

I have seen 16 year old mothers who were in my eyes amazing mothers who always put their child first, I have also seen elder mothers whom I wonder why did she have a child if she was going to act that way towards it.
I have seen young mothers who are children themselves trying to raise a child of their own and failing because they just were not ready to be grown ups, I have also seen elder women who are raising their children so lovingly.

There a many types of families and let me tell you just because we raise a child in a good way it does not mean our children will be good people, Yes we hope and pray our children will be good people who do good things but that's not always the case.

I believe the most important things in being a good parent are Heart,Devotion, Honesty and Determination.

As a parent you must NEVER GIVE UP! do not give up on your children support them without judgement the way you would have wanted to be treated.

Love your child openly do not be afraid tpo hold your child and praise your child , tell your child how happy you are to be their parent. Parents need to stop telling children what they are doing wrong and start showing them how to do right tell them how happy they make you not how angry they make you.

NEVER lie to your child if you don't want your child lying to you don't do it to them, children remember every lie they catch you in.

you need to to give your all when you are a parent you child has to come first, you need to make sure there is always a warm home to come home to a place full of love and acceptance.
Feed your children properly I know that can be hard sometimes but I am sure you can do it.
Take the time to teach your children do not get upset when they ask you questions, they really are trying to understand you and the world around them.

Everyone has scars

Here are two things I wrote a long while back.

everyone has scars

Everyone has scars in their hearts
they wish no one to see
but if you chose to reveal them
you just might set yourself free

there comes a time
when everything seems wrong
no matter what you do
it feels as if you don't belong

everyone has doubts
everyone feels pain
some of us use violence
under hatred, fear and strain

some of us find solace
pleasure wrapped in pain
some of us search for help
others stand alone
some of us try to hide it
others let it show

some people fear judgement
others fear the pain
some of us are shadows
though it's only in our minds
some run from the hurt
others from the fear
some run from Anger
or things they don't want to hear

everyone needs someone
to love them for who they are
everyone needs someone
to lend a shoulder, hand or ear
I'd like to be that someone
for him, her and you
I might not solve your problems
but I can still be here for you

I may not know your story
but if you want I'll tell you mine
or when we speak to each other
we can leave it all behind
everyone has secrets embedded in their hearts
everyone has scars from things we can't control
love can heal all heartbreaks
or that's what I've been told

Author notes

umm I dunno I feel pensive today and inspired and yet I'm kinda down
Written May 2nd, 2006

the scars on our hearts"how do we heal"

it's been forever
since I've heard those words
that take me higher
then the birds

it's been too often
I've felt the pain
that shatters my confidence
that drives me insane

I feel the releif
I feel the shame
I feel the happiness
I feel the blame

I see the anger
the pain
the fear
see the frustration
so very clear

where is the love?
the regret
where is the comfort
the passion
the hope

where is the end
where do we start
how do we heal
these scars in our hearts

written the same day as the other

you are loved

being in love, being loved and loving someone, each has its own unique feeling and each makes a difference in our lives.

loving, being in love and being loved are all great things but do not cease living for those things, we cannot Must not throw our lives away even if it is for love.

how happy do you think it makes a person you love who loves you knows you are throwing your life away because of the cherished feelings shared between the two of you.

A person does not want to know you are wasting away because you love them, if you love them then you must live life to the fullest.
Enjoy everyday you live try to live life as though it's your last taking nothing for granted.

I am currently in love with someone and neither he nor I would be happy to know the other was failing their studies because we would rather be on the pc waiting for them to talk to them.

I believe that would be a great disappointment on both our parts and we would feel guilty.

never stop living your life for another that's no life to live give all you have but keep your life god gave you that life cherish it and live it to the fullest as he wanted.

hurts to be beautiful

I have decided women are crazy.

Is the amount of suffering we put yourselves through worth the beauty?
Growing up my sister would always laugh and tell me "It hurts to be beautiful" when she would tug on my hair too much while doing it.

Every girl and woman wants to be seen as pretty and beautiful, they all are in my opinion there isn't a single ugly person in the world.

girls need to feel attractive ?

yes I believe we do often enough the girls with low self esteem, generally have been put down about their looks been rejected by the guys she liked and told she was not worthy in some way or another.

A woman will suffer as long as she knows she looks good, Shoes for example some we know are going to hurt like a bitch to wear , does that stop us from wearing them ? HELL NO!!! we will suffer through the pain coz those babies look great on our feet with our outfit.

I am currently while writing this blog trying to ignore the tingling pain in my own feet because these shoes are church shoes baby they are making me look good and like a woman instead of a tomboy on this special day.

My nephew will only be baptized once and I plan on looking decent, while I am there in church doing nothing more then sitting and standing and kneeling before god.
However if the woman next to me happens to glance at my kicks she will be envious good thing we will be in church and she can ask God for forgiveness over wanting these kicks that are tormenting my sneaker wearing feet.

Life is grand even while suffering to be attractive this bunny has to hop along to church now stay safe
( ) ( )
( o o )

m m

Men are from planet indifferent

Maybe men are from another planet,and maybe that planet is home to insensitivity and cluelessness.
Men can be so Clueless and insensitive , the worse thing is they are SO much of both they never even realize how insensitive they are being.
If you know someone is in love with you then you should treat them accordingly,if you have returned her feelings treat her as someone you love.
If you have denied her feelings treat her as a friend and hold your ground, if you reject someone you cannot try to not hurt them.
Please lets face reality men she's already hurt and no amount of kindness will fix it, as a matter of fact men who reject women and then treat them golden end up hurting the girl more most of the time.
Men are big wussbags I get it you don't wanna make her cry hey asshole she already is!
Every time we go unnoticed to the one we love and care for we cry that my friend is a fact.
There will be prideful girls who deny this however, look back on the past guys you liked and how they treated you unkindly or unfairly.
I will bet almost anything about 95% of the times you cried or wanted to cry when you felt or thought your words and emotions weren't getting across.
When he seemed indifferent to all you said or did you felt like crying and it felt like your heart was slowly accumulating tiny cuts all over it.

There are guys who are very thoughtless where girls are involved, if a girl has low self esteem and you know it watch what you say to her.
A girl doesn't need to hear you say you like her then watch you parade around photos of models, are you trying to give her a complex?
Being a woman there is one thing I can say with certainty we not only want we NEED to be the number one girl in your eyes.

You cannot tell us we are everything to you and then turn around web searching hot chicks because that to us says we are NOT EVERYTHING but we ARE lacking something and so you must find it else where.
Many men roll their eyes and get annoyed at girls who get jealous and insecure, sorry to say it but we are this way because you instilled that urge to be the way we are.
If we are insecure it is normally a mans fault, I am not trying to man bash right now regardless how it may seem.

I was always a very confident girl even if I wasn't the most popular I had confidence and a very carefree nature. I only began to feel unconfident when a boyfriend would tell me about so and so this girl or that one hitting on him or some other random thing like that.
Men I know it strokes your ego when a girl pays attention to you, however ever you should remember you have someone by your side who is willing to do everything and anything for you.
The most painful thing and thing that causes the most insecurity is our loved one paying attention to another instead of us.
A woman is proud of her man because he is her boyfriend, girls can look but we don't want to hear you telling us about the girls who were, we don't need to know you noticed and enjoyed attention from another woman.

If you know a girl has a complex on her body do not bring attention to it, that shirts gotten tight is not something we want to hear.
Women do not think its great that they have gained weight even if it means their breast are bigger and you enjoy the view.
Another thing we don't like we don't like you making comments about OUR Friends not just best friends but any of our friends bodies, for that matter don't comment on YOUR friends bodies either.

We are not stupid we know you will look at others but when you are obvious about it that's painful, we are here look at us.

Do not do things for other girls that you wont or don't do for your girlfriend.
I remember working downtown and my boyfriend never came to see me at work , he did however go visit our friend who happened to be his best friends girlfriend and his best girlfriend.
Our friend worked about 5 minutes to 10 minutes away from my work. The day I found out he would go visit her and take her out for coffee and donuts or chocolate milkshakes I cried, I became jealous of my friend because my boyfriend treated her special. I was hurt because he never did sweet thoughtful things like that for me, I felt like I had to compete for my boyfriends affection and attention when I should have gotten it without asking or trying to earn it.

Insensitive

Show me how to be insensitive
Insensitive like you
Teach me how to say
The painful things you do
Teach me how to shield my heart
So I can feel no guilt
When I see the broken person
I built
Show me how easy it is
To fuck yourself over
To feel as if I'm all alone
Teach me how to be like you
Tell me what I have to do
So I can be insensitive too

I wrote this poem for my ex who has to have been one of the most indifferent insensitive men I had any kind of relationship with be it friendship or romance.

the moral of the story?
men already know how sensitive woman are even when we try to be cold hard hearted bitches who act indifferent the key word there is ACT we can act as good as any actress to hide the pain you cause us.

A woman can be in agony and still smile in the face of a man just because he is a man.

how about putting that brain in your head to good use and think twice about just how you might hurt us every time you open your mouth stupidly speaking without thinking you may not mean harm but you put our hearts through a shredder then pick up the pieces and throw it in a blender.

I am not saying girls have no faults I am just pointing out the faults of too many men.

it's been awhile

I was thinking what to write before I even clicked on new post, I was going to start this post with some lame excuse.
I have not posted in a full day not because there was nothing to say or there was nothing on my mind.
I had so much on my mind I didn't know what to write, how to start where to finish or even how to be myself infront of the eyes of strangers reading this, people I probably will never even meet.
I am someone who refuses to let others silence my voice and yet here I was mute unwilling or able to spread my words and feelings across the page before me for them to read.

Ir's Been Awhile-Staind

it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own 2 feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means

And it's been awhile
Since I could say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile
Since I could say I loved myself as well
And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and fucked things up, just like I always do
And it's been awhile
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've gone & fucked thing up again, again....

Why must I feel this way...
Just make this go away...
Just one more peaceful day

it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candles light your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem, to be
I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry


this is my song of the night this song popped into my head as I decided to start to write this post, the title of this post is after this song.


music is a wonderful thing it heals and makes us feel things we keep buried inside for ourselves.

When I was around 13 I had this friend lets call her Mandy, Mandy and I were close I guess you could say we were bestfriends.
Mandy had a big brother who was bestfriends with my cousin, we grew close quickly thanks to that bond.
Mandy and I liked ALOT of the same things especially music, we loved all the same bands.

Mandy lived downstairs from me, she was on the bottom floor and I live on the 3rd.
I would sleep at Mandy's house most weekends , we would have girl time and talk, over one summer alone we had so many heart to hearts I felt as though she was one of my soul sisters.

Mandy to this day is the only friend I ever had that I would cry listening to music with, we couldn't help ourselves when we were together listening to music we would cry listening to some of the songs.
I have many fond memories of my years of friendship with Mandy , which sadly has come to an end .

The memories I will never truly forget are not the girl talks about the cute french guys on our block and at the park we hung out at, nor the times we shared heartbreaking poems and wrote confession poems to deliver to guys.
When I think of my years being friends with Mandy I think glass soda pop bottles, Coconut oil lotion, Aaron Carter, Mariah Carey, Spice Girls, BSB,98 degrees,Nsync and the feelings of sister hood, laughter, friendship, support, love and pain.

It's been awhile since I thanked god for the people he gave me in life even if we grew apart , went our own sperate ways or they simply moved ahead to the afterlife to await my arrival at the so called pearly gates.

It's been awhile since I recalled all the good god gave me in my life, walking around using the pain I experienced in my life as a blindfold.
To me music reminds me of everything in my life , and it reminds me that I am not alone in this life.

I believe in order for a song to be appreciated and good the singer and the writer must feel and believe what they are singing.
The reason why so many people love country western and the old classics is easy for me to understand, they had meaning and they were real.
People can relate to things that are real and that makes the song enjoyable we can feel it's not just a bunch of words.

Paul Anka is an amazing artist all his songs have feeling , his song Diana was one of the most bought 45s at the time and I believe the reason behind that is because the song is sincere. Paul Anka wrote a song for his babysitter and sang the verse for the world to hear and the world loved it.

this bunny need better brand of batteries until I am recharged I leave this post for you to ponder does she have add aka adhd the answer is no I am a bunny I am active like that lol

An Old Fwd

I do not own this I just believe people I know and don't know can relate to it.

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to
ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken, probably
more than once, and it's harder every time.

You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an
old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll
eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too
much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you
spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot; who calls you back when
you hang up on him; who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead; who wants to show you off to the
world when you are in your sweats; who holds your hand in front of his
friends. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he
cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns
to his friends and says, "..that's her."

that is the kinda man I want a man like that up there a man who is proud to have you by his side and shows it not one that acts as though he is ashamed to be with you.

old wounds

It's amazing how you can think you have completely gotten over something that happened so long ago, you never think of it,it never crosses your mind and then one day BAM! there it is tearing your insides open.

There are sometimes scars on your heart and you believe they are completely healed and smooth that they blend in with the rest of you that they add character to the person you have become, they give you experience and knowledge.
Even when you have moved past the things that caused the scars one day you wake and remember something something that made you believe in a better tomorrow then stole that hope away.
Pain is pain it doesn't matter if it's past pain or new pain having lived through pain it can always come back and invade your heart no matter how much you believe you have moved on.
Many people say and believe you never forget your first love.
I believe the reason behind never forgetting your first love is because when you lose that love it hurts so much, because it is your first time feeling such a feeling of love. First love is such an intense sense of love and you get so lost in it that when its over you are lost without it, left with nothing but the immense pain of not having it anymore.

When you remember the pain from that time of sadness it is easy to forget yourself, it doesn't even matter that you have a good new life.
You can have someone you love so much you would attempt to stop time for them , the past pain will still swallow you whole until you breath deeply and pull yourself together reminding yourself that you are not the person you were that you are strong and capable and that the person of the past can't hurt you or break you down anymore.

love and pain part 2

this was written by Amanda*now called Dustin* she gave me this and I want to share it.
It is better to love then not to love at all.. As one of my friends told me.. But then why is it that all love does is cause you pain? Why is it no matter whom you love you know you are going to get hurt.. In one way or another... You want to let them in but you can not... Why because you know what is going to happen.. When do you feel like you love someone? How do you know you feel love? One way to feel love is to feel pain no matter how much you feel you must feel pain..!!!!! If you can not feel pain then how can you feel love then? How much pain do you have to feel before you can feel love? When do you feel like the pain is gone away so that you may feel love again..!!! what if you never have felt like someone has loved you in your life time!!!! Or what if you feel like the one person whom really did love you is now gone for good!!!!!! What happens when the one person whom loved you no matter what you did or who you are with is gone for ever...!!! what happens when you realise that you can`t remember her smile or her laugh or even the way she talked... why can`t you remember the way she was with you and everything.. you want so much to see her smile and hear her laugh... It has not been long but you feel like your forgetting her already.... you really miss her and want her back in your life.. she was the only one whom knew you for you and loved you for just being you.... you know you need her in your life always.. you know you want to keep her in your life no matter what you don't care what people think.... anymore.. you always feel depressed and that you are worth nothing and that you are a loser and will get no where in your life time.... you just wish the pain inside would dissapear and be happy again....

A man and his tears

There is nothing as heart breaking to me then a man who is crying.
Most men are raised with the belief tears are a sign of weakness, they are told to be a man and not cry from as early as 1 years old sometimes.
A man is just as vulnerable as any woman, sometimes I wonder if they are not a touch more vulnerable then us.
The thing with men is that they are so used to supressing their emotions, men can and often do give the impression of being what they truly are not COLD.
There are men you look at and you can never imagine them smiling or crying, and yet when they are on their own they cry so much they could drown in their sadness.
A mans tears are beautiful things they reflect the beauty inside the man , they show the man as he truly is human.
There are women out there who hate to see a man cry, crying is second nature theraphy to most women so why must a man not cry? A man shouldn't cry in front of a woman because she is weak to this type of man, a real man with no barriers.
We are so emotional that when we see another showing strong emotions it breaks us down more so when it's someone that we never see as anything other then "strong"
Real strength is when we can cry together or apart when we can be true to ourselves.
I find a man who shows his emotions and cries is a real man and the kind of man I would want by my side always.
Men deserve the right to express their inner pain with tears and words.
We have no right to tell a person to hide who they are, let men be true to themselves parents need to stop using the term stop crying be a man.

belief, life and knowledge

This feeling that's in my chest is the foundation of who I am, the thing that keeps me going and why I don't give a damn.
When I wake in the morning I am happy to be living this life I live, even when I am not with the one I want to be with.
I may have things that bring me down but it never lasts long, I get up dust myself off and keep moving forward.
Times are some times hard to live through and you would rather throw in the towel, throw in all the chips you have won til now and you will never win a thing.
Courage is hard to find when you turn a blind eye, look inside yourself for help you have all the answers at your disposal.
There are too many times we short change ourselves in our lives, we underestimate our talents, our abilities and most importantly our strength.
Children are so amazing if you speak to them right they go from "I can't do it!" to "I did it!" so easily it's like my nephew would say "I can't write it!" then I would say " I really believe you can do it and I would love to watch you do it because I know you can do it here lets try together" then he would try to write his name and he would do it every letter was shaky but it was readable and spelled his name " you did great!" I would say smiling and he would be smiling too and rewrite it saying " look I did it! I CAN DO IT!!!" Adults aren't so easily convinced all our choices become blurred by uncertainty and we second guess not only ourselves but our peers too.
Children are so simple and so bright they accept things as they are point blank decide they don't like it and go about changing the things they don't like and most oft they succeed too! props to all my smart children of the world.
They say with age comes knowledge and in some ways that is true but the older you get the stupider you get too because the older you get the more complex you make things.

Love and Pain

The world is full of sadistic masochistic people, people who thrive from being hurt or from hurting others.
It's amazing how beautiful this world is and yet how tainted the inhabitants of this world are.
We are suckers for pain more so if love is involved, ain't that scary for LOVE we will accept PAIN. Most of the time Love pain is so painful it blinds us against sound reasoning because the pain is so great from the need of love that oft seems stronger.
Why do we love even when it hurts so much? Are we only able to love if we feel pain?
I think we pick the painful loves in hopes that things will be better because we suffered we will be rewarded with something other then heart break.
Many believe the person and the love is worth the pain, I say you better step back and rethink that because sometimes it's really not worth it make sure you know the person you are throwing everything away for.

Patience

Do I have someone in mind for this blog? is it directed at one certain person ?
The answer is no not at one specific person though some may feel guilty reading this post it is not about them, this is about me though others may play reference the ones who will read this are not the ones so you may rest assured.

Having patience is a good thing right?
Sometimes a good thing can really feel like a bad thing, too much of a good thing can be bad.

I always had to be patient and so I don't generally mind waiting for people and things it's the story of my life anyways.

The problem with being someone who is patient is that others start walking all over you since hey so and so has great patience they wont mind being last in line all the time.
Because you are patient you are disregarded your value goes down because it's ok to be treated un fairly as long as you are willing to wait on them they believe they are not doing anything wrong.
I will never complain about how friends treat me when it comes to waiting to do things like hang out together or just to talk to one another people lead busy lives and need someone to understand that and I do.
My problem is not in waiting for people to decide they finally have time for me, the problem I have is they give me no warning I will be waiting for a while a long while often enough.
I am a patient person but I also have times where I have no patiences because I feel people sometimes take my patience for granted There are times I would like answers now and not wait for them for twenty minutes or not get a response at all. I never complain out loud about these things that oddly is not how I am.

I hate being thanks for being myself like its an unheard of thing that I will be patient.
I remember one person always thanked me for being patient, she abused that patience everytime we met and thanked me everytime too. There came a day I stopped waiting on her and left instead unable to always be the last person on the list just because I was a patient person.

I think people should be thoughtful of others if you are talking on the phone and you get anothe line you dont have to answer that other line if its important the person will call back.
If you are talking on the phone and get another call and you answer tell the person you are on the other line and will call back or ask them to call back, you can even switch lines and tell the other person to call you back or that you ill call them back. It is rude to leave a friend on hold for 20 mins just tell them you will call them back instead of doing that.

If you are on instant messenger and you are talking to several people at once and you get into a serious conversation change your status to busy , most ppl will take the hint you got caught up in something and they will occupy themselves doing something else until you are available.
Tell a person when you have several things to do and that you might not answer for a bit this way they wont wait. I am lucky because most times I will change what I am doing ,though I still write as well often enough knowing they will read it when they can.

all in all I think people need to be more aware of how they treat others.
this bunny is ready to crash hang me by my ears and wake me in the morning
Tomorrow I will have a new post up hopefully siething with more spunk then this for now eat your carrots and curl up in a ball baby coz its time to be healthy and sleep well.

Long Distance

Long distance relationships many times are painful when you are not in actual contact with that person you love. When you are both on instant messenger its like you are on cloud 9 you are filled with warmth and you smile feeling more relaxed then you did all day.
Sometimes you feel happy hours after they have signed off other times you feel lonely and miss them like crazy not even two minutes after parting ways ffor the day or night or until you get to talk again.
Getting to talk on the phone with the one you love who lives far away, is something some people just can not afford.
When you get to talk on the phone with the person you love the feeling is amazing it's like instantly growing wings and flying around the world twice.
Talking about nothing seems like the most interesting topic in the world you can not have a real conversation and yet you feel as though the words spoken are treasures deep in your heart.

Relationships are hard and are harder yet when you are not physically close to the one you love.
When I say physically close I do not mean in the sharing bodies sense, but it is no lie I do believe things do not work out so great when you are not able to touch the one you love to hold their hand or kiss their cheek.

It's very important that we see the people we love the reactions the expressions on their faces when they talk these are the things we take our cues from .
Body Language is as important if not more important then verbal language.
I have not only seen but also experienced fights over stupidity because it was not apprent just how serious the person I spoke to was being and they in turn could not see me.

Long Distance relationships really can work but you need a very important component that would be Trust.
If you cannot trust your partner things will never work.

I know what it's like to be insecure over a lovers actions and behaviours the words they speak sometimes cause you to stop and wonder.
When you wait days just to talk to a person hoping today is the day they will call/come online but they don't.
It's easy to feel lonely and depressed hating the distance and hating yourself for not being able to handle things better.
When you love someone so much you think of them all the time wondering and worrying about them and what they are doing it's easy to lose yourself.
Remember one thing you are not the only one in the relationship they feel the same way too they also want to see and touch and just be with you so don't lose faith but believe in the love in your heart.

I have someone I love very much who lives very far from me and sometimes I get lonely and doubt myself sometimes but I believe in the person I love and my love as well.
The times spent together will always be treasured and when I am down thinking of the one I love and the things we have shared make me happier, calm and thankful I was given the chance to meet and love them.

Hate is a strong word

Hate is a strong word that rises from the anger and evil inside us, hate makes us bad when we are good.

No matter how I try, I really hate some people in this world.

Self acclaimed princess with her head up her ass crying for help but unwilling to help herself, stop pushing yourself on others. Stop taking what isn't yours .
Don't keep placing fault and blame on the shoulders of people who shouldn't be carrying the weight of the fault and blame, the fault is yours the blame it's all on you.

Miss thing with no self confidence stop trying to break down everyone else who just happens to be happy . You may have no self esteem but that doesn't give you the right to try and make others feel like shit.

Misery loves company and so the people who are suffering aim and target those that they hate the most " The HAPPY people".
Get off your high horses just go out and get high why go cause shit for others.
Life is too short to sit around waiting for love to happen if you want to be loved so badly go to the bar, sell yourself on the street who cares, you wont get love by forcing unwanted love and attention on a person who loves someone else or just doesn't see you that way.

Single ladies leave taken men the fuck alone can you really not find someone for yourself in today's day and age.
What with internet being all about hook ups it shouldn't be so hard why do you have to take someone else's man and tear another girls heart in two.
I doubt you ever think about how it's like to be in their shoes huh but when you are man you guys can't help but bitch and moan well let me tell you something home wreckers if the man can do it for you he can do it TO YOU!.

The thrill of the chase is something some girls live for so don't get pissed off when you are trying to make a man jealous and he decides to ditch your skank ass.
No one wants a woman who looks or acts like a whore to be his woman he only wants one to look at and take the good girl home.

As the song goes they want a lady on the streets and a freak between the sheets so if you are not a lady you will not get a real man not a good one anyways.

Men need to treat their ladies like they have worth and value and that they are not just ornaments for their arms and beds.

We want to be respected and treated as equals even if you are smarter then the her, she doesn't need to be reminded of the fact several times a day.
Instead of showing off your intelligence why don't you let her feel smart and compliment her on HER intelligence instead of throwing your intelligence in her face.

Relationships are not about rocket science people They are about COMMUNICATION, RESPECT, TRUST, LOYALTY, SACRIFICE, HONESTY, KINDNESS, PATIENCE, TENDERNESS, EMPATHY, FORGIVENESS, COMPASSION, COMPROMISE, ACCEPTANCE, TEAMWORK and LOVE of course.

There are other factors obviously like chemistry, compatibility attraction and lust also play their parts.

No matter what kind of relationship it is most of these things should be present be it close friendships or partnerships between man and woman or any gender.
If you do not have respect you have nothing to continue to build on because when there is no respect there is no compelling need to be around the person there is nothing worse then dealing with rude people.

Communication makes the world go round, there is nothing more frustrating then trying to talk to someone who refuses to talk to you in more then one word to 3 word replies many women know how annoying it is to talk to a man and get uhuh, uuuuuuh, ummm, yea, sure, no, maybe, i don't know , ok, I guess, we will see, what ever, i don't care, you choose. There are times we are positive our pets will would and do talk to us more then the men in our lives step up men.

HOWEVER, I also think women need to look at themselves carefully for I am sure many women agreed with what I had to say about men but listen up ladies we also need to think twice about how we talk to men.

SOMETIMES we REALLY DO need to STFU if you haven't seen your man in a while do not start complaining and whining about how bad things are instead how about telling them how good things are now that you are together.
Face it he finally gets to see you he don't want to listen to you bitch he wants to be close to you. I am not saying you cannot tell him your problems just maybe try venting to your best friends before hand and cut to the chase tell him the important things.

Men love trying to fix things they will tell you how to fix it and you will feel annoyed that he doesn't "care enough" about your feelings, he cares he told you his opinion on how to fix it men are simple like that they don't care about who said what they care about what to do now that its been said.

Men have feelings, have you ever took the time to think about how you disregard your mans feelings when you don't pay attention to him when you meet up but instead go on some bitch fest rant. Men are clueless sometimes but ladies try giving them more credit then you do without the men we cherish in our lives we don't feel like ourselves, so why should we continue to push them away by not giving them our faith that they are not so different from us. they have thoughts, dreams, desires and feelings, they love, bleed, cry and breath as do we.

Trust/Honesty where would we be without those two things if there is no trust in a relationship it is not likely you will go far. Honesty is the best policy being honest can be painful but personally I rather be told the truth hurt and get over it then be lied to and find out the truth at a later time where it will just hurt more when I do find out, and gentlemen we always find out.
There is such thing as being too honest people I am someone who suffers from being too honest and frank but I do have the decency to only dish out as much honesty as I know a person can handle most the time.
People need finesse when dealing with others.

Loyalty is an easy thing to understand or it should be you standby and support those you are close to and those you love .
You do not do things to make your friends family and lovers upset and hurt to feel as though they have no self worth/ self value.

Sometimes people make mistakes and should indeed be forgiven this does not mean walk all over people in hopes you will be forgiven or allow yourself to be walked all over but you do need to give some people chances.

The best thing a person can ever do is Accept another as they are, for who they were, are and will be. Everyone no matter what seeks some kinda of acceptance from someone if we want to receive we must first give life is about giving and taking and although some may not give it to us sometimes we must first give in order to receive because others have not learned what we have.

Love is many things rolled into one love is pain as much as it is joy and kindness for without pain how would we know what kindness and love is?