We Don't Ask To Be Us

This post is about racism because recently I have not only been reading more and more about it, but I've felt more and more like a victim to it too.
For those of you who do not know me I am considered a "white person" although in reality  my skin is tanned and I am merely a human woman. White, black, yellow, red those aren't colors of people but things instead.

In the past lets say 6 months alone I have read different articles all about something that is racist or someone that is racist or how thinking a certain way makes us racist. One article I thought would be interesting since the title had I Love Korean boys in it, I will now show you some of what was shared on there. Since I was last on there it seems to have  been partially rewritten as I don't recall reading certain parts before.
There are still the same comments I would like to share too although I don't know where to start so here is part of that article.

"When people make general statements (sometimes unknowingly) such as ”most Koreans are beautiful”. What does that mean? The population of the Korean peninsula alone (not including those in the diaspora) is roughly 74million inhabitants. How many Koreans have you met that you feel experienced enough to state that most Koreans are beautiful? That is a stereotype. There is such a term as positive racism. What happens is that when you meet people that do not fulfill your criteria for “Korean-ness” is that they get called “not real Korean”. There are numerous accounts of this happening with Korean Americans, or second generation Koreans in the West. The same way when a black person that isn’t the image of “ghetto” gets referred to as “not really black” or an “oreo”. It’s offensive.
People are often guilty of homogenizing Asians, again I understand how one may not be aware of what they are doing. Saying things such as “I love Asian boys” is an extremely bold statement to make. Asia is not limited to China, Japan and Korea (which a lot of the time is what people mean). These are East Asian countries. Even in East Asia there are three other countries and two standalone territories (under China). There are, in fact six regions in Asia namely:
 You want to marry an Asian person? Doesn’t matter who? That means you are saying that all of these countries with their various histories, cultures, and distinct ethnic features are all the same to you. As long as they are “Asian” you’ll be okay? Granted some people are joking, or being light-hearted. I get that. At the same time there are also people that are not. I’m directing this to the people who really mean what they say. Why not “I want to marry a Korean K-pop idol/celebrity” or “I want to date someone who looks like a Korean K-pop idol/celebrity”? If you want to be shallow, be proud of it , accept it and don’t try to disguise it as “love for THEIR culture”. It really is the same thing as someone saying, “I want to marry a European”. You would get blank stares all around. “But Europe is a continent with many different countries and not all Europeans are the same…” you say? Bingo.
Being proud of having so-called “yellow fever” is a form of racism. You are not only trivializing a disease that is still prevalent (yes it really is, affecting roughly 300,000 and killing 20,000 people each year) but also saying you won’t date other races is…well racist, isn’t it? You don’t know what tomorrow may bring; you haven’t met all men from every race. How can you happily dismiss a person based on their ethnicity before knowing their personality? You would be happy with an abusive partner as long as he/she was a particular race? Whether or not this is what you believe, by making that statement, this is the thought that is implied. It is a form of hypersexualization.

Sometimes I feel like people who post things like “I want a Korean boyfriend/girlfriend” have this assumption that all Korean people are like their bias. K-pop does not equal Korea.
I saw a statement online once that read “I honestly feel bad for the people who can’t differentiate between their bias and the whole of the Korean population”. Your bias isn’t even necessarily showing their true self (not to say that Kpop stars aren’t good people). People sexualize Hyuna then go on to “slut shame” her. She has even said herself that she is not like that. She is doing her job. SNSD’s Sunny has unrivalled aegyo skills, but that doesn’t mean all Korean girls or women go around doing “gwiyomi” all over the place!

“Racism is not in your intent. Your intent is immaterial in how racist your actions are. This isn’t about you BEING a racist. It’s about you DOING A THING that is racist. Your intent doesn’t change it. Your ignorance of its meaning doesn’t change it. It’s got nothing to do with you as a person and everything to do with the meaning of your action in the context of sociocultural history.”

 - Moniquilliloquies (via tumblr)"

So this most of the article that has been rewritten probably based on many of the comments. There are parts of This one that I do agree with. This person who wrote this article they have also done their own type of stereo type by assuming many people will claim someone is  not Korean or black enough what does that even mean? I mean my friend Wai and I used to joke with each other alot because he's a BBC and I am white and we act as though we were each others race. We joked about him being a banana and me being an egg "why?" you might ask because I was white on the outside yellow and white inside where as he was "yellow" yet white on the inside. Because he did not fit the complete "Asian " stereotype although he does fit some being smart and wearing glasses and being slightly on the short side. I also find it is more common for a person to be called such things by Their own ethnicity rather than one outside their own . You are more likely to find another person of the same ethnicity shunning them. As a matter of fact there was something I watched on tv about that where  people  would define themselves as white or black and how some because their skin was a light tone were looked down on by others with darker skin as not being "real" blacks.

I think the reason why some of us say they want to date a Korean isn't because they look like "Oppa" for me that definitely isn't the case. Some of us see the way  many of the Korean men we see seem to wear their hearts on their sleeves, how they care about their families and think I want that type of man. That is what attracts me to Asian men they seem to have a genuine love for their families and there is just a completely different dynamic than what I have seen here growing up. Where I live it's very common to see broken homes / families. Respect is not the most important thing in many families here either. The way there is so much respect by the way you address a person to the way they try to stick through everything as one unit is admirable to me. I think that person is also looking down on many people calling them shallow when there are so many people who do admire and love their culture, Asians know what hard work means and in all honesty how is it racist to call someone living in Asia Asian? I live in Canada and I am a proud Canadian .

Some people do not actively date certain ethnicity groups for their own reasons but that does not mean they aren't attracted to them. I wouldn't marry a practicing Jewish person unless I was still able to continue celebrating the things I grew up believing in , I eat meat and I love christmas and must have a christmas tree. It's ridiculous but it's not racist I have many Jewish friends and have had crushes on many as well, I do not avoid having relationships with them but I will not change my beliefs for another person. I do not like how this person believes everyone with an "Asian" fetish is a shallow racist who cares nothing for the person but the fact they are from Asia and are good looking.  Of coarse we want to find someone we get along with and that treats us right.  Many of us do not understand how a primal instinct and a preference is racist. We cannot help who we fall in love with or find attractive just as much as we can't help who we do not find attractive and can't fall in love with.

I will now share  things from the comments some will not be the full posts but parts I agree with.

"It´s definitely true what you say, but I think this kind of "subconcious racism" can be expressed by anyone i´m sure most people have met someone who specifies the skin colour, cultural preferences and even nationalities that they deem fit for themselves in a partner, people can´t help if they feel unattracted to people of different ethnicities but perhaps that´s due to representations of other cultures in the media or lack of interest so perhaps it is unfair to accuse someone of being racist due to their personal preferences."

next will be between myself and others from before the article was changed

Em Jahay

I get where this is coming from and yet part of me has to disagree with part of it.
There is such thing as a personal preference. Yes Personality may play a part but I think it is wrong to say a person is shallow for wanting someone they are attracted to. The truth of the matter is we all fall for someone and find them attractive I've never heard a woman say " he's so ugly I want to marry him" I am a person who has a "Asian fetish" and mine is unrelated to Kpop.
I have an Asian fetish because I am attracted to the way of life of many of these place . I like physical appearances of several of these places. I have found myself on numerous occasions being interested in a certain ethnic background. Was I racist as a child because I rarely ever found myself attracted to males with dark skin? if they did not have white skin or slightly tanned skin I just did not see them in a romantic way at all . Have I been racist in only dating white guys because they were the ones I had a mutual affection with? calling someone racist based on preferences is wrong. I also do not see anything racist about saying most as long as you add That I have met . It's not racist to base it on your own personal findings. Generalization is racist and I do not agree with it. I do not think you should put labels on people you have yet to meet and refuse to give a chance like this hatred towards Muslims that you can find almost everywhere.
The thing is people meet people everyday they do not all just base it on kpop or jpop or cpop. I say I have an Asian fetish because I find myself attracted to most of the Asians I meet as long as a person is Asian why is it racist to call it as such? Are China, Taiwan, Thailand, Korea, Japan, Malaysia and the Philippines not part of Asia? Are those men not Asians? so how is it racist? I am not some extreme fan girl and I do not think all men should and are like kpop stars but I spend my fair share of time picture gazing and watching videos .
There were some parts that were good in this but at the same time I find it could have been better written. Instead of pointing the finger on how everything in life that we do is some form of racism and that we should stop encouraging people to do racist things. A person is not racist just because they find most Koreans they have seen good looking , in their minds that's what they think. The issue is more in how a person phrases what they say.

lolamanda101

last time i checked it's not cool to fetishize a race? good on your for admitting you have a fetish for asians i guess??? 

김 엘리나
You clearly didn't get her point. Good for you if you can find all races in the world attractive. Some of us don't. Deal with it. 

Em Jahay > lolamanda10

it's not about the race it's about the physical features I love men and women with almond and moon shaped eyes. I envy them because I find they look beautiful, but I am not racist. You just have a one track mind and that track is like a train set around a Christmas tree spinning around racism. You are so focused on how everything in the world is racist and racism at it's prime but others aren't so busy worrying about having a type they like being racist compared to being called things like "Ching Chong" and "Squinty eye 

lolamanda101 > Em Jahay
lmao you still have an asian fetish so u stay losing. 

Emjahay
I am not losing anything I've dated white men most of my life I like men of all colors shapes sizes physical appearances I am just more attracted to Asians. And it's my god given right you don't like it you think I'm racist good for you coz the men I am interested in don't give two left testicles that I am attracted to them. 

julia valdary > Em Jahay

yeah this is freaking ridiculous! shes basically saying that if you don't find someone attractive, then you're being racist against them. no, im pretty sure i have a lot of guy friends who i am not attracted to but who i like as individuals. otherwise, we wouldn't be friends. 

Baakus > julia valdary

If you don't find an individual attractive, that's definitely not racism.If you don't find an ENTIRE racial/ethnic group attractive, then there's a strong possibility that your "preferences" have been influenced by prejudicial ideas that are floating around in our society. 

Em Jahay Baaku

I agree for some that maybe the case but since I have dated or been attracted to or have had crushes on men and women from many different ethnicities that does not apply for me. I could probably name 1 man from every country that I find good looking, I am from a place where being white is turning into a rarity 

julia valdary > Baakus

not at all actually!! since i don't date inside my own race, it's impossible for me to go off of stereotypes because i know the facts. just because i would not be attracted to one entire race or ethnicity doesn't mean anything. everyone has their preferences and they know what they find hot and what they don't find hot. at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter what i or someone else finds attractive in a guy, because it is merely our dating preference, and there are far more important things in the world. if push comes to shove and i find a guy whos of my own race, and i fall in love with him, then so be it, but initially that is not something that i am looking for. 

Em Jahay julia valdary 

exactly! this article has done one thing for me other than make me laugh and teach me that some places are in Asia though the people I know from said places never claim to be Asian . And I made at least one new facebook friend  

김 엘리나> Em Jahay

I think lolamanda is just a troll^^ why wasting our time explaining ourselves to her.. she won't even make an effort reading our comments. Her replies sound like a butthurt kid who doesn't understand and just wants to repeat her point. lol "mimimi you're still racist". oh very constructive answer! lol "smh"

"김 엘리나

 

What a stupid article. Sorry but I'm so sick of people overusing the word 'racist' for everything. -.- Just because I find Korean men attractive and certain races not so much, doesn't make me a racist. It's called personal taste! Yes, maybe it's some kind of "yellow fever" but what's wrong about it? What's with all the other people who wanna marry only their own kind. At least I'm not so narrow-minded!
What's with those who like blonde, tall and slim girls... aren't they "racist" towards fat and short girls? You can call everyone racist then. Because everyone has certain preferences in looks. And everyone has a list of looks they don't find attractive. Nobody speaks about it but everyone has one.
Telling me I'm racist because I like a certain look, calling it "racist" because it happens to be that of Korean men, makes YOU racist, because you make a difference between people in the first place. We're all humans first of all!"

Baakus > 김 엘리나

I understand your frustration, especially since your fetish is for Asian men (which is something that Western society actively discourages because it hurts the ego of White men).
If we lived in a perfect world, then "fetishes" would be fine. Preferring Blacks or Asians or Whites or Latinos would be little different than preferring personality types or hair colours.
But we DON'T live in a perfect world, and unlike personality types or hair colours, race carries ENORMOUS historical, social, and cultural baggage that nobody is able to extricate themselves from. From birth, we are bombarded with very troublesome assumptions and stereotypes about races, and these inevitably influence how we view these races and formulate our racial "preferences."
I think it's great that you've been able to fight off Western stereotypes in finding Asian men attractive. But you should also realize why many people are so against racial fetishization.

Em Jahay >Baakus

not everyone is influenced though I live in a multi cultural place it has always been this way and honestly growing up for me I was not subjected to seeing alot of racism. I am not saying I never saw any the N word got thrown around alot but that never stopped me from having colored friends or being attracted to the odd guy or two. People who have been under fire because of their race tend to be more sensitive towards sterotypes. I am white and I am not as someone said "Privileged " which technically was racist of them to say people assume being white means no one hates on you or acts racist towards you but I have had my fair share of abuse in my adult years for being white. Being called the great enslaver. Its great to be aware of racist acts but to most people real racism is when something is done in hate and with the intent to cause pain,

and people are still looking for personality even behind the race because a pretty face isn't enough if the person has an ugly soul and a stone heart.

Baakus > Em Jahay

Please don't say "colored." Perhaps the term you were looking for "people of color."
You're white, therefore, you have white privilege.
I'm male, therefore, I have male privilege. I could be poor, disabled, ugly, etc. But due to my gender, I have certain advantages that I wouldn't have if I were female.

I responded to that person as I had just seen the comment when  I found the article to get these from it, but I will not be posting it . I will instead go on to the next comments.

lolamanda101> 김 엘리나

uhm having a body preference is different than fetishizing a race 

 

김 엘리나> lolamanda101

how is that different? and moreover how is that a bad thing?

If I said sth bad about koreans that would be racist. How is it racist when I say I like them/prefer them/ "have a fetish for them?"
Why do white people feel offended when someone prefers certain races over others? because not every country is mixed like America? Do they have a problem that certain countries have certain looks, unlike their country?
How come western people get so worked up over topics that Koreans themselves don't feel offended about?

Em Jahay> 김 엘리나 

I'm white and I have no issue at all about any of it I think the word racism gets thrown around too much for things that are merely human nature

lolamanda101> Em Jahay 

"racial fetishization is racism.
it is not a compliment.
stop pretending that you are ~appreciating the culture~, and being respectful.
reducing the many varied people within a culture to the parts that you think are cute is not being appreciative. racism is not respectful.
stop."
b/c u ppl cant get it in ur heads smh.

김 엘리나> Em Jahay  thank you! i'm so tired of people overusing the word racism.lolamanda101 Em Jahay lmao smfh ur white no wonder. lolamanda101 > 김 엘리나 http://pocproblems.tumblr.com/... the final thing is it's not cool to fetishize a race, doesn't matter what race or who you are just don't do it. it's not racist but fetshizing is not okay. and btw im not white so?? 김 엘리나> lolamanda101 lol this is complete bullshit. sorry xDlolamanda101> 김 엘리나  oh i don't know if you mind me asking but what's your ethnicity? lolamanda101> 김 엘리나  okay so either you're in complete denial of your own fetishization of a race or you completely think it's okay to fetishize a race. which one is it? 

김 엘리나> lolamanda101 

 

The second. xD
Last time I checked "racism" was a bad thing, used when people offend and generalize entire races.
Doing the opposite is NOT a bad thing! If you say "i like Italian/German/American/ Korean people."
And I never heard from anyone that he felt offended when people tell him/her that they like their race, culture, looks etc.
I don't get why you get all defensive when you hear that I like certain looks of certain countries. It's my own business and right. I don't accuse other people for liking blonde, slim girls/guys or certain hairstyles, fashion... it's called personal preference and everyone has it.
If you belong to those people who feel attracted to all kinds of looks, then good for you. I can not. And I don't see why I should feel bad about it.
I can become friends with all kinds of personalities but not with any kind in a romantic way!
I'm Greek and I feel attracted to Korean men but not only.. i also feel attracted to South European men..
What I absolutely don't feel attracted to are for example black men or indian, indonesian, russian...
And when I say that I don't mean that ALL people from those countries are ugly or whatever. They are just not my type! I found attractive black men and not so attractive korean men too.
But it's the majority i'm talkin about.
It's my personal preference and nothing to feel bad about or sorry for.
As long as I don't hurt anybody with my "fetish" I don't see where the problem is.

lolamanda101> 김 엘리나

"racial fetishization is racism.
it is not a compliment.
stop pretending that you are ~appreciating the culture~, and being respectful.
reducing the many varied people within a culture to the parts that you think are cute is not being appreciative. racism is not respectful.
stop."

김 엘리나> lolamanda101

You stop!
you don't even know me so what do you actually know what i appreciate and what not? this was about looks and personal preference... the culture is a different topic which i didn't talk about. stop making me look like i appreciate their culture just because i think they look nice. These are 2 different things.
Stop being offened for people who don't give a fuck in the first place. I'm sorry if you feel jealous towards them because they're so admired and you're not.

lolamanda101> 김 엘리나

smfh im hella done talking to your fckin privileged white ass, and oh wow im definiltey jealous yup. incredible. 

Kmushbeauty> lolamanda101

Hold up. You said you're not white and here you're calling someone a "privileged white ass". I think you have things backwards. That statement you made is racist. Everything you have previously said is now null and void because you have sunken to the level you despise. 

김 엘리나> lolamanda101
Done talking to your ass too, whatever color it may have. 

lolamanda101 >김 엘리나

lmao smh. and ur white too lmfao 

Em Jahay> lolamanda101

for someone talking about racism and how wrong WE are you seem to got some of your own issues but hey never mind us PRIVILEGED white girls. being hated on for your skin color has made you over sensitized we get it well I'm out of here this privileged white ass has better things to do 

lolamanda101> 김 엘리나

here's more if you don't understand my point http://blackinasia.tumblr.com/... (I might be wrong but I was told this person was posting something about a black girl that got raped because she was black)

iGleaux

These comments are sad. Ask yourself why your preference is your preference and don't give some bull like "just because". 9 times out of 10 it's going to be based in stereotypes and social stigmas attached to certain groups/traits. You're "personal preference" is built on a foundation that does not entirely come from your own thinking/free will. For example someone was mentioning facial features like almond eyes (mind you I've read numerous things from Asian people disputing this stereotype that Asian people have almond eyes), also take note that not all Asian people have the same features or skin tones even when they belong to the same ethnic group (in this particular case we're discussing Koreans) thus you end up alienating some of the very people you fetishize. Lastly you're basically saying the way someone looks is more important in deciding your partner than anything they can bring to the table as a human being. That you pick out partners like you would a pair of shoes or a couch. If you all can't see what you're doing and saying is problematic then you're just being willfully ignorant and will spend your life getting called out and poorly defending yourselves.

That's about all I'll share from that Article next  Article....http://www.asianjunkie.com/2014/01/got7s-black-kids-comment-was-insensitive-but-the-real-problem-isnt-with-them/  The second article is about a Korean group that just debuted called GOT7 but  it all started from a mistranslated article. But here are some of the comments from that....

"Josh Chinnery> Asian Junkie

I love the concept of white tears... It makes me wanna laugh so hard that white people think they know what racial discrimination is like. Also, can I just point out how white people are quick to be like "We all bleed red, son :D" when it comes to stuff that minorities claim and tell everyone else to fuck off about it, but they are all over telling bitches when it's the opposite situation (white people claim something)?

Asian Junkie Mod Guest
 

lol

I swear white people look through articles on race for anything they can use to redirect criticism and make themselves the real victim.
White tears is possibly the most appropriate response in history.

Guest> Asian Junkie

I don't think that someone pointing out something in your article as stupid or hypocritical is playing victim, though.
Hard to believe people simply disagree with something you wrote, I know, but deal with it. Other than that, great article.

Asian Junkie Mod Guest 

 

People disagree all the time, doesn't make them right.

Hypocritical. Rofl. Equating a joke about a true fact with actual discrimination is exactly the white tears I'm talking about. If you don't understand the difference between the two, then you're exactly the type that needs to hear it.
Feel free to stay mad, I don't care and nobody else that's not white will either.
WHITE MUSICIANS STOLE BLACK MUSIC
Does that reality make you feel bad? Sorry. History has a way of doing that when people do shitty stuff all the time.

Asian Junkie Mod Guest 

 

To further the point, here's actual stereotyping/discrimination by Asians against whites being played off by a white man who recognizes why it doesn't actually matter.

http://workthatmatters.blogspo...
"While stereotyping is stereotyping, no matter who does it, this is an opportunity for people like me to feel some of the emotions that are felt by other groups of people (including the Japanese) who are constantly caricatured in western media. I qualify this with "some of" because of course we are not a group that suffers from historical or institutionalized racism. In other words, no white people were actually harmed by this ad."
Now keep in mind that white people here are all rustled because I pointed out a fact in a joking manner and see how ridiculous your logic is.

Guest>No_Min 

 

That fail ass logic, though. I really did find that obnoxious. I don't expect to read an article on stereotypes and prejudice while being stereotyped. JUST SAYING.

Then especially don't dismiss my opinion with that "white tears" cop out. You might as well just say "BRB, you're white and therefore your opinion is irrelevant, so while I exclude you from any conversation about race I'll be complaining about how I wish the 2520's were more aware."
Kay. Good luck with your 2014 make white people less racially ignorant goals.

UncleFan

Hilarious that you couldn't write this otherwise insightful article without trashing white people at the end.

LOL - if you make as much money as Louis CK, life in America is awesome no matter what color you are. For everybody else, it's dog-eat-dog out there.(in reply to a video about white privileges)

Asian Junkie Mod > UncleFan 

 

A white and a black guy in equal situations don't have equal opportunity or perception is the point.

UncleFan> Asian Junkie

don't you see how funny it is to write about one racial group's butthurt reaction to a perceived slight from another group and then throw in a thinly veiled insult to a yet another race, thus setting the whole sorry cycle of butthurtedness back into motion?
It's seems like you're saying: "Hey, it's all good, bro. Let's not forget who the REAL ENEMY is... #WhitePeople, amirite?"

Asian Junkie Mod UncleFan 

 

As far as racism goes? You guys are dominating the sport.

UncleFan Asian Junkie 

 

Are you serious? You know China has over 1.3 billion people, right? Did you happen to see the shameful "diversity" parade at the Beijing Olympics, where the cultures of dozens of different indigenous minority groups were appropriated for the amusement of viewers? Have you never noticed that Chinese netizens will routinely refer to Koreans, Japanese and other neighboring Asians as descended from dogs/apes/whores (and vice-versa, to be fair)? And China is just one nation out of hundreds...
White people do not and have never had a monopoly on racial prejudice.

Asian Junkie Mod UncleFan 

 

This is amazing.
You don't even seem to realize or care what worldwide hegemony white people have and what colonization of almost every region in the world has done.
lol
Yes, white people are victims now. I'm so sorry for all those racist South Americans that colonized Europe and raped/murdered their way through your homes to the extent that it created an entire new ethnic group. Times are tuff.
The best."

I skipped a ton of comments and I have too much to say about all of it.

I do find it offensive that people all act like "White" people are some kinda special and do not go through the same things they do. I get the fact most of them are all talking about America and not Canada but still. We are victims to racism too , by everyone who claims to be victims of it themselves. Non Whites do not realize how racist they act themselves because they are "Justified" by the way they have been treated.
EVERYONE can claim to have been a victim to racism at one point or another, be it due to their skin, language or religion to their appearance as a whole.Blacks have not been the only slaves in history nor have they been the only ones to suffer from racism. Jewish people, German people, Asian, Middle Eastern , EVERYONE has a racial term they get called.that is racist from whop, spic, chink,  white devil, white trash, the N word, monkey so on so forth I think I've made my point. People all hating on one another instead of  appreciating they have similar if not the same values. Korean Chinese and Japanese cultures all have a lot in common instead of appreciating their  similarities  many are racist towards one another. Hell SK and NK should be one with another instead of having wars and the likes those are your people you are killing. YES many white people did bad things but we weren't the only ones and it's not fair that it's ok to treat us badly and talk smack about us just because you have been treated unfairly. If people would just end the cycle instead of keeping it going things wouldn't be as bad.  There are some people who refuse to let go of the past and live in the present times. YES you went through a lot of hard times , but you  got through them and now are able to live better lives. You have to break out of the cycle though there are many others living the same type of life style going through the same pains. Being white is not privileged we suffer too. America is NOT the only place on the planet and Generalization IS racist and white people face generalization just as much as everyone else.

No one ASKS to be born as anything we are merely born and given our hand of cards to play that's it that's all NONE of us had control over our births so stop hating on each other already. We are ALL humans with the SAME faults. Being a certain Ethnicity does not change the quality of life because people of every background are poor even white folks.