thoughts

Thoughts spin round my mind
Words I wish to say
to so many people
I never hold back
and yet I do

I don't want to hurt you
I don't want to hurt myself
I have spent my life hurting
I just want something else

I am known as the girl
the girl who speaks her mind
but I cannot speak my mind this time
I don't want to make you cry

I gotta be myself
but I can't be cruel to be kind
I have to search inside myself
I need to search my mind

my heart has things to say
but my mouth wont work right
not matter how I try to say them
they will never come out right

I am always in the middle
a place I don't mind to be
except for when I am hurting
and guilty by association
it's so fucking complicated

if I could get all my thoughts
every frustration out
would I still feel like a bomb
whose time was running out

I keep everything inside myself
even when I shouldn't
I do the things that keep me sane
even when I shouldn't
I shouldn't scream and shout
and yet I really should
if I let it all out
I am sure it would do me good
I wish I was that type
instead here I am trying to write
trying to vent
but my emotions have been spent
too long pent up inside
when did the person I was die

dedications to him

hmmm these are things I wrote to or when thinking of the most special guy in my life.





Confession

take this confession in your hands
and do with it what you will
bend it, break it, cherish it
if you so desire

take these words
these words of emotion
of restraint disbelief and passion

store them away
for further reference
throw them away
for they are naught but a disturbance
poke and prod them for deeper meaning
shove them away in haste
stomp over them in impatience
acknowledge my words
accept their sentiments
or burn and bury them away

this is my confession
my desire to be known
these are my feelings
my heart has made you a home
and these words seek residence
inside the walls you built
around your heart and soul
I beg for the chance
to warm you when you are cold
hold you when you are lonely
to make you my one and only
I pray for the same
but I know
I'm strong enough to walk away
if you wish to throw me away

this is my confession
I await what you have to say

Our song

if I could walk next to you
talk with you on the phone
if I could hold you close
and call you my own

how happy would I be
how free would I feel
how happy would I be
if I had you loving me

if I could be your everything
would I still feel this pain
would I be saved
if I could love you
the way I want to

oh can you catch me when I fall
can I be your all
oh will you hold me close
oh and never let me go

how happy can I be
how free can I feel
how happy would I be
if your love for me was real

I'll catch you when you fall
you know Ill give my all
Oh how happy can we be
If I loved you
and you loved me

you make me feel happy

you know you're something special
I just want you to know
the way you warm my heart
and lift my soul
whenever your around
im as happy as can be
baby since i met you
I feel so free

you think Im something special
a one of a kind
baby I think your amazing
and you're always on my mind

every where I go
I take you with me
i just have to think about you
and I'm happy

your words are like hugs
they wrap around me
and when I hear you laughing
my heart skips a beat

I never thought this would happen
I really couldnt see
just what kind of effect
you would have on me

To my love

my biggest desire
I had never even known
but when I met you
I knew I would never be alone

you gave me love
when times were rough
you gave me kindness
when I was about to break
you were so honest
you healed my mistrust
you gave me self worth
when I felt I wasn't good enough

you are my angel
who helped me through the dark
you are the man
who healed my brokenheart
you are the one
who loved me as I am
the only one who never judged me
scolding me for the bad I've done
you make me happy to be me
with you I feel I will always be accepted
I know I will always be respected
I love you with all I am
and thats something I never expected


Hearts

what good is a heart
I once asked this
and now I know
without this heart
where would my love for you go

why did I only think of him
who was I trying to kid
my number one is me
that's the way it's suppose to be

have I always felt this much
was my heart too cold to touch
when I was in so much pain
I refused to love again
so why do I love you so much

how did you warm this heart
what words did you use
to ease a heart so abused
to mend my broken heart with ease
my love for you brings me to my knees
I am thankful I have you in my life
my love for you has brought me such delight
with you in my life I know I'll be alright

my heart brought you to me
your heart set me free


Is this destiny

am I here because of you
do you wonder about this too
are you here for me
is this destiny

do we belong together
can we have a happily ever after
can we spend our days together
holding on to each other

I see you in my dreams
you are always on my mind
I just want to freeze time
I want to make you mine

life has never felt so right
the way it does when I'm with you
I know I can make it through the hard times
because I can turn to you
I hope you know I will always be here for you too

I should add more but thats all for now folks don't wanna swell his head with how loved he is lol

poems

I used to love this group and I loved this song still do



I am going to post some of my poem at random they are poems of Pain and some include Suicide you can read if you like or you can wait til I post anew.ALL MY poetry is COPYWRITTEN

my nightmare

dreams of the past come rushing in
the more I fight them
the harder I fall to the ground

I try to run from the demons
the demons that are no longer around
but still posess my mind

I cry myself blind
I thought I had all my answers
I thought my fears
were laid to rest

I check my chest
afraid Ill find a kinfe
peircing my breast
as my blood runs cold

I remember everything
so vividly
it happened so suddenly
did it happen years go
or did it all happen today
this pain is too much to handle alone

the images passed in a blur
the knives sliding across skin
the pools of blood
glass everywhere
cops rushing through the door
swinging fists
bruised flesh
rough hands
deep voices
muffled screams
tear streaked faces
my face, hands, memories and pain
everything mingled together
driving me insane



some thoughts

If I could be struck down by lightning
I would beg for it
Is that frightening?
I want to be defiled and deformed
crush me make me wish I was never born
but you do that already dont you
every word that comes out your mouth
slices me to the soul
but thats something you know very well
you locked me in this jail
release me from home sweet hell
unchain my heart from yours
let me close the doors to my cage
and walk off this stage
write me off this page of life
as I slit my wrist with a knife

us

they say true love never dies
but our love is dead
i loved you with all I had
but it wasnt enough

how can love conquer all
if we are with different people now
at the time the love was real
the promise meant to be kept
tears never meant to be shed
the love faded the promises were broken
hearts bled
and tears fell like waterfalls

we had something good
and we took it for granted
we walked out the door
and our pain slammed it
locking the past behind us
because we arent strong enough to face it
united we stood
together we fell
sometimes love can do more damage then well
for all the well intentions
we can sometimes tear a heart apart
more than we ever hoped to glue it together

I have learnt so much
from the pleasure and the pain
and although Im hurt and scared
I think Im ready to love again

Bye

mistakes were made between us
and we hold them to our hearts
using them as sheilds to repell each other
hiding behind the pain
we lost something precious
we were once so grateful to have gained

we hurt those we love the most
their hearts unguarded from our assult
tears flow easily
hearts break frequantly

past and present collide
our feelings are so supressed and hidden
we dont even know what love is anymore
its been so deformed
its just a illusion
and I am disillusional

we took each other for granted
and lost all we had
after all the pain we went through
theres just no going back

time to move on
to start over with someone new
bye bye to us
goodbye to you

Thoughts

I became someone
I thought I could love
because I had you by my side
but the more I was with you
the more lost I became inside

before I was with you
I knew who I was
I was depressed
and I hated myself
I was chock full of self loathing
and cut my arms
but even while depressed
I was confident

that confidence slipped away
as we expirenced several ups and downs
I lost faith in myself
and doubted your love
I second guessed my value
I berated my worth
based on a mans love or lack of

I never felt I was good enough
your new girlfriend
is everything I am not
she is who I couldn't be
But who are you trying to kid
she could never love you like I did

she tries to control you
to chain you to her side
she tells you who you can talk to
and those you can't
I never did that
I never made you chose
between me and your friends

I may not have had a job
let alone two
and I've never been a super model
but I was better to you
I loved you more
but she's did what I was never able to do

magical words

those magical words hurt
they cut me in two
they make me cry
and free me
your magical words
allow me to move on

I am a survivor
even though I dont feel strong
your magical words
always helped me carry on

my memories hurt
because that happy past
that painful past
wont be repeated in the future
your magical words wont charm me
they wont make things better

your magical words
i like you
i love you
please dont cry
i need you
i'm sorry
I've found someone new
I've moved on
maybe someday I'll come back to you

wished and prayed

how many times did I wish
and how many times did I pray
while crying I would beg
Please let everything be ok

all I wanted was a miracle
I just wanted your love
I craved a piece of heaven
delivered by your touch

a lasting memory
of joy and pain
of success and failure
of loss and gain

I wanted friendship
love and companionship
and I still do
but I've come to realize
I cant have those with you

how many times since we parted ways
have we spoke on the phone
not once
we text and have met
we have even slept together
when have you acted like my friend?
the answer is never

did you see me as a friend
or just a body you were able to use
someone you could turn to
when your life was too empty and lonely
did you think of me
and how you were making me feel
or was it that my feelings
weren't part of the deal

I prayed and I wished
for everything to be ok
and in my heart
I still carry that with me
every single day
its been a good 7 to 8 months now
since we broke up
and you still make me cry
even though this friendships not working
I dont want to say good-bye
but I cant seem to get over you
no matter how hard I try

I've wished and prayed
and I still do the same
only now I wish and pray
this pain would go away


Our love belongs in the past

can you see it
when you see my smile
can you feel it
whenever we talk

do you know what im hiding
do you know how hard I'm trying
to let these feeling go
oh tell me do you know

its hard to breath with out you
standing here on my own
its hard to smile
when you dont care like before
I dont know how to be your friend
when I love you so much I can die
tell me do you see
how hard I fight not to cry

dont you think your selfish
to treat me this way
I gave you everything
you just threw it all away
you dont want to love me
but you want all my love
you dont know how to be a friend
but you want me there til the end

this is the end my heart cant break anymore
Im walking away now
Im locking my hearts door
so take all your sweet kisses and words from the past
our love is over
we belong in the past
its time to move on and listen to a new lovers songs
because the way you treat me is just too wrong

that is enough for now as most of the people who read this hate me writing long posts lol

heart break

I love this song they have it in Many languages and you should definitely listen to it in as many as possible. it's loud and live so turn the volume down and adjust it to your liking.




I was going to post a poem last post but I had fallen asleep I have seen this poem and known about it for no less than 17 years and yet you can find soooo many versions of it all over the net and everyone claims it's theirs including 17 year old girls who weren't even around when I first heard it to have written it.

Click on it to see it bigger




Ihis can be easily changed for guys as I have shown you which is why I like it.
I had my own version for this that was a dedication to a little child I use to know but I have misplaced it.

Next on my list is a poem that meant alot to me when someone gave it to me.

After A While

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn...

This piece holds SO much Truth to it.

This is really just a random post I made I the poetry site I go to when I couldn't stop thinking about relationships.

Relationship Randomness

we start off as strangers
we become friends
sometimes we become lovers
the relationship ends
we can't get back to where we were before
when we became lovers
we closed the "just friends" door
we can never return to what we had
and so in turn all our best intentions to be friends
fails and we once again become strangers
people who know the others pasts
who wish well for the others future
but knows nothing
of the current thoughts and feelings
their once dear one has and feel
and the cycle continues
strangers to friends to lovers to strangers once again

when you intwine your heart with another
when you fuse to hearts together
the pain from tearing them apart remains
it scars the heart
and all though we wish to press the reset button
we can never return to the start
there is no way to change the things we dont know
sometimes things just happen
theres no changing a persons heart
no matter how much we would like to
sometimes we are heading in different directions
being with him clipped her wings
bounding her to earth
all her dreams of flying across land and sea
were halted by her love for this man
but as he sets her free
she fears flying
she can't remember how
her dreams ever changing
her heart still longing for his
she spreads her wings and tries to fly
to leave him behind
he was her first love
the memories forever in her scarred heart
loves chains bind her no more

I am all out of thoughts of where to take this blog so I shall leave it here for today.

forget

Sometimes no matter how hard we try to let go and move on we are caught hanging on held in place by our hearts and minds.

Caught and hanging by a amoment (Lifehouse had a great song about that)
we are unable to leave everything behind us.

No matter how many times my ex Bryan betrayed me I always stayed with him, always loved him even while distrusting him and slowly even hating him.
I would be ready to call it quits dying inside from the pain, I started hating who I was and yet I would fall for him all over again so easily.
I stopped loving him but it was not after he completely rejected me & trampled my heart. I stopped loving him because I had someone show me how much more I truly deserved, I fell in love with a good man whom made me realize how much of a bad man I had loved.

I wrote a poem once and the song I posted up top made me remember it as well as my line about hanging on to a moment so I will post that poem herre now.

holding on forever
I try to forget
but all I do is remember
I try to move on
but I'm holding on to forever

you'd say you love me
but you can't
you know it's a lie
I was holding on forever
to the thought of you and I

now I'm crying
never ending tears
I've said good-bye
because it was a lie

I gave my heart to a guy
thought he'd be true
thought I'd get to do
the things lovers always do

got the kisses hugs and sex
got the happiness
didn't expect what came next

got the lonliness
jealousy and greed
got the envy
they got what I need

I had some laughter
now I cry
got my heart broken
by this guy

got the memories
that I can't let go
I'm holding on to forever
wouldn't you know

my heart is broken
my tears constantly flow
I held on to you
for so long
even though I felt
as if your love was gone
I guess I shoulda known
it was time to move on

There's nothing now
that can make it right
so I close my eyes
shut them tight

I rock back and forth
as my tears fall down
wondering to myself
what do I do now

all my works of poetry are copywritten!

I forgot what I was going to write as I fell asleep writing this so I will end it here.

crazy chick

I love this video love the words too

I thought I would continue abit from the whole fangirlism rant.

There are girls in this world I will never understand,I can't figure out the way their minds.

How can you meet a guy once and decide he is your future?

I admit the first day I saw my ex I knew by the end of the year we would be dating, that however was not something I obsessed over it was a deep instinct I felt and actually faught when I actually started to fall for him.

Girls who meet a guy once and already think they will marry a guy is kinda extreme.
I understand believing in fate and destiny as I am a big believer however I am rationale as well.

how can a guy be your future husband just because he said hello to you?

There are males like this too males who believe kindness = love, I knew a guy like that everytime a girl was nice to him he fell for the said girl.

Unable to be mean to him and feeling bad for him too I ended up being a little too nice, that said I became a spark to his heart that his imagination turned into a flame.

I believe people with low self esteem are the ones who fall victim to such ways.

Stalkers are obviously the creepiest and scariest sorts of people, I have oddly enough had my fair share of stalkers in my life and I honestly found the silent ones the scariest.
One of my ex's had said creepy things about how I would always be his gf and such when I dumped him, however I hadn't believed he was really going to stalk me.
When I realized he knew things he shouldn't have I got a little freaked out but didn't think much about it, a few months ago I was talking to him again on facebook and he admitted to me that he had stalked me I was entirely freaked out.

often girls who have crushes on guys in school they will follow the guy as long as they are going in the same direction, they may also look up the persons phone number in the phone book just to see the number and dream what it would be like if they were given it and were encouraged to call it.
These are not bad things to me I find them harmless and innocent, then you got the girls who will not only look up the number but put it in their cell phones and even call the number privately a few times a week.
I think that is creepy of them, more so is the girls who get ahold of a guy they likes number and text them all the time sending photos the guy probably doesn't want to see.
The cellphone number I currently have apprently belonged to some guy before I got the number, I get alot of calls from women and then I started getting texts and photos sent to me. It did not matter how many times I told them wrong number they still continued to text and send photos, I got annoyed after one chick sent 4 in a row after I told her wrong number so I called her and mouthed her off it has been 4 days since that so I am hoping she got the picture .

I lost my train of though so I will end this here this bunny is hungry so I will go get some food before napping hop along now folks.

Until my next post
Bitchingly Yours
Bunny Bitch

It hurts

This song and video always make me cry



for those who do not know FYL = Fuck Your Life

Life hurts that is a fact.

What about life hurts?

Well.... how about EVERYTHING!

You meet someone you like ...they have someone special...they hate you..you are not their type FYL it hurts.

You really dig the person you are with you are head over heels in love with them.... someone important in your life disaproves FYL that hurts.
They break up with you FYL the worlds coming to its end you hurt so bad.

You have a bestfriend and the guy you like likes her...=.=" story of my teenage life it hurt.

All the fights and misunderstandings we have on a daily basis with the people we are in contact with be it in person or on the internet those hurt.

Missing the people you love it also hurts so bad sometimes it's a wonder we don't die from the sense of loss and pain.

Living life in a world we don't understand, in a place we hate with people who take us for granted, missing the ones we love longing to be with them.

Life hurts , Love hurts and most of all People hurt.

Regardless of all the good intentions we may have we hurt people on a regular basis, be it because we are clueless, selfish, unexperienced, sheltered in the ways of the world and love or a hundred other things we all cause un necessary pain and half the time it is directed towards someone whom does not deserve such pain or someone whom we truely care for.

I tend to live by the ways of being cruel to be kind but I am never cruel to be brutal, There is a line I dare not cross when dealing with people.
I have always believed in telling a person what they need to hear not what they want to hear, however... I know there is only so much truth a person can handle I have no wish to be a person who breaks someone with my honesty, if they want to commit suicide to someones harsh tongue it will not be mine.

Friendships can cause a person the most pain in thier lives.

Have you ever been betrayeed by a close friend?

The pain can be so unbearable I can recall so many times when those I considered bestfriend accused me of betraying them and in turn betrayed me, those people hurt me more then any others had managed.

When you give your trust you give a part of your heart that cannot be regiven once you lose faith once your trust in someone has faultered it can never go back to 100% even if we like to delude ourselves and say thats not true look deep into the very core of yourself and ask "HAVE I EVER FULLY TRUSTED AND NEVER DOUBTED SOMEONE AFTER THEY BETRAYED ME?" I am sure 98.9 percent of you will say you have doubted and never fully trusted then others will be split between those in denial and those whom may have strength beyond belief and forgive no matter what and give no matter what how ever I think it's rare to find someone who can give a full 100% of trust to someone after they have been betrayed them unless they are those of strong holy faith aka nun or priest.

Just the thought that someone may have betrayed you cuts like a knife through butter the only thing iit that knife is piercing your heart.

Broken Promises we all have a treasure trove of those in our closets, from childhood we have broken promises stashed away in our little promise boxes.

The promise that had scarred me the most when my heart was broken the most from a broken promise was when I was 8 or 9 years old during christmas holidays. I was so sure my father was coming to pick me up from my mothers but he never came I waited all night and cried for 3 full days and more so afterwards when my big sister came home and told me all about her fun time at our grandparents with our father. I believe that was the first time my heart had ever been seriously broken and to this day that pain is still there.

When I was dating my ex he broke all his promises to me and I remember thinking so much about it that I even dreamt about breaking the most serious promise I ever made him. I figureed if he could break all his I could break the only one I made that he valued. I realized that was the wrong road to travel because I was also breaking a promise I made to so many others if I broke it. At that time I came to the conclusion others will break my heart and let me down, they will break promises and not stay true to their words, Even as they do I will remain a good friend no matter how hard it is and how much it hurts I will never break my promises or revoke my word unless there is absolutely no choice.

It's hard to be a good friend because there will be times you will be hurt, times you will be angry and want to hurt them in return or you hurt because they are hurt.

There are times you support people even when you are against the things they are doing because that is what a good friend does, but sometimes you will be conflicted during those times because other parties maybe involved and you may feel your balance has faded.

Sometimes we waant to be good friends but we cannot figure out how to , our own morales get in the way our values and beliefs sometimes get in the way of us being good friends.

I know someone who wants to be a good friend to 2 people but she cannot accept the situation going on between her two friends and so she has decided to not talk to the one whom she feels has done wrong due to the fact she does not know how to be the persons friend without hurting that person.

Sometimes trying to be a friend hurts more then having a friend and losing them because you care so much about the person fear hurting them so much its like losing them but having them close at hand all the time, a constant reminder of the failure you are as a friend due to the fact you cannot solve the conflict in your heart.

Everyone feels like a failure in something but in reality it is not that they are failures it's just that they haven't taken the time to know not only themselves but the other person involved, we all hold the answers we seek we just don't always dig deep enough to uncover the answers but they are there waiting to be found.

I have a few friends who have always come to me for advice asking me how I know things so well and the likes telling me I know so much and all. I have a friend named Meera aka Mia she would always come to me for answers claiming I knew them all that I was so smart that she could never get the answers to things. I would always tell her the answers are there inside you that is how I got all mine I worked through all my heartaches and looked deep inside myself.

Experience is the best teacher learn from your pain.

This bunny is done writing for now before I go off topic and write a whole book of a blog as people I know that read this complain at the lengths of my blogs lol

Fangirlism part 2

LMFAO when I saw this video I had to put it on one of my fangirl posts and since I have one on the other already it has to come here xD



Alright now that I have explained with those dictionary definitions what a fangirl is I amy now start my rant.

First off this has nothing to do with normal fangirls like myself but more those crazy ass scary chicks who go around terrorizing fellow fans admires and co stars of the person in question.

What the hell are you trying to prove when you go and buy merchendise from a certain artist only to be breaking it tearing it or burning it vandalizing it all because that said person claims a male idol is her type. By this I mean like what some rabid fans did to that girl who said JJ from TVXQ/DBSK was to her liking, HELLO YOU ARE IN JAPAN AND HE IS THE NUMBER 1 SAUGHT AFTER LOVER THERE. Seeing as to how he ranked that placement it wasn't a giant leap that he would appeal to her as well , and sorry there is nothing wrong with her liking him after all every single fan of his likes him as well .

Rabid Fans who go around and stake claim on the people they admire and respect are stupid.
Point blank you don't own him, he ain't yours, so shut up, sit down and get a life.

you are suppose to respect and admire the people and yet you make life harder for them how is that loving and supporting them ?

It's like Super Junior the fans all comment on how the guys need to rest more but how do you expect them to sleep when you are hanging outside screaming at them! it's common sense go to school what are you doing hanging out yelling at them instead of doing your school work grow up why dont you.

I am not a huge fan girl I believe the only difference between a celebrity and someone like me if connections timing and luck. I know many people who could be famous if given the chance and time and if someone would take a chance and risk on them. I was always surrounded by such amazing talented people I didn't really get star stuck often when I was younger. Some things in life really don't change much I am still not one of those people who yells on the top of their lungs the minute they see a celebrity.

I would love to get to talk to celebrities and get to know them as the real people they are away from tv screens and fan cams.To know the person they cannot show for others will look down on them and such.

I believe that asian countries can be harsh towards their entertainers though more so the rabid fans. Take the Jae from 2PM thing what the hell is wrong with people signing a suicide petition . What the hell gives them the right to decide if his life has worth God gave him that life along with his parents it's not his to take away and I hope the people who signed it and came up with the idea rot in hell.
Stupid rabid bitches one minute they are trying to get him to end his life the next crying and begging him not to leave korean and boycotting JYP and causing a hard time for the other members members they are suppose to love and support.

as far as I know things are not like that in North America we get upset over groups splitting up and stuff but thats that we dont talk about how they should kill themselves.

I mean if we were that way the baldwin brothers russel crow and many other actors should be dead by now or out of show business because they have all assulted fans and strangers. Or how about Celine Dion one year in the begining of her career she said she couldnt accept an award because it was canadian and she was a quebecer.I consider he a sell out traitor for that remark but I still listen to her songs and even bought her albums for my brothers mother in law who loves Celine.

I am exhausted so I am going to go to bed now post more later ciao

Fangirlism

Love this song and Group lol



Alright the topic for tonight has been chosen tonight I will talk about...... DRUMROLL ......... FANGIRLS

first lets start off with what a fan girl is based on others here are some definitions from urban dictionary.

1. fangirl 1498 up, 92 down

buy fangirl mugs, tshirts and magnets
A rabid breed of human female who is obesessed with either a fictional character or an actor. Similar to the breed of fanboy. Fangirls congregate at anime conventions and livejournal. Have been known to glomp, grope, and tackle when encountering said obesessions.
Hugh Jackman: 'ello.
Fangirl: SQUEEEEEE! *immediately attaches to Jackman's leg*
Jackman: Security!
by Sita Snape May 2, 2003 share this
2. fangirl 828 up, 139 down

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A female who has overstepped the line between healthy fandom and indecent obsession
Fan: Hakkai from Saiyuki is really cool, he's smart and nice and hey, he's pretty cute.
Fangirl: Lyke OMG!!!11!one! Hakkai iz so lke totly my huzbend!
Fan: You DO realize he is a two dimensional image on your television screen right?
Fangirl: NOOO!! He'z reel and he iz al myne!
by monkey Dec 6, 2004 share this
3. fangirl 527 up, 127 down

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A female fan with an obession over anime and video game characters, or over real people like the Orlando Bloom or the guys in simple plan. Some may go as far to create cults, fanlistings, and shrines. Contrary to popular belief, not all fangirls are unatractive. Many, especially those who cosplay, actually look semi-normal or even pretty in normal settings. There are some fat and ugly ones, but not every fangirl is. They also enjoy writing fanfiction or drawing fanart. Anime and video fangirls have a habit of glomping.
anime/video game fangirl(online)
Fangirl: *Glomps* Kawaii!! OMG I love Vash. He is so uber hot!!

anime/video game fangirl(real life)
Fangirl: Lookie!! I just got the new Final Fantasy game!! And look I also got this totally kawaii plushie of Kurama! Kurama is my god!

real person fangirl(they scare me)
Fangirl: OMG I need more Orlando Bloom pictures. I must have them! I need more for my locker. Give them to me. If you don't give me some I shall kill you!!! ARG!!!
by Emi Aug 2, 2004

4. fangirl

buy fangirl mugs, tshirts and magnets
fangirl, n.
1. (derogatory) a female fan, obsessed with something (or someone) to a frightening or sickening degree. Often considered ditzy, annoying and shallow.
2. (playful, good-natured) less extreme, a female fan who can laugh at their own passion for their particular interest (or even obsession).
1. Fangirl: OMG!!!1! i luv {insert celebrity's name} to!!!!!!!!! hes got a hot ass! ive spent teh last 6 munths planin our weding!!

2. Fangirl 1: Haha, I've been spending too much time with my Doctor Who merchandise. Ooh, look at that lovely picture of David Tennant! *glomp* Hee hee, I'm such a fangirl!
Fangirl 2: *manic grin* I'm a bit of a Doctor Who fangirl myself! Yeah, that is a nice pic, but I've got my eyes in other places... *ogles pic. of Peter Davison* ;)
Fangirl 1: LOL, mind if I join you? ;)

(David Tennant and Peter Davison are actors who have held the leading role in Doctor Who.)
fanboy fan girl fan boy obsession fan
by Stephemu Apr 24, 2006

5. Fangirl


1. a girl who is a fan of a anime/video game/book charatcher. Or a fan or a real actor/singer.

2. There are three types of Fangirl:

NORMAL FANGIRL (STAGE ONE)

These are the type of fangirl i can actully stand. Has a slight obcession with the object of her desire. Reads fanfics about her chosen desire. Has about ten posters of her desire. Knows he is a fabrication (applies to anime/video games). Is literate.

RABID FANGIRL (STAGE TWO)

A slight step up from the Normal Fangirl phase. Is aged between 12-17 yearr old. Has a Livejournal and is in no less than ten communites deticacted to the object of her desire. Writes shitty fanficton (all fanficton is shit). Sqees ALOT.
Uses those gay anime emoctions such as ^_^). Cosplays. Is seen at stores like Barnes and Noble (In America) and in Oxford Street (where i live, in the UK). Draws shitty fanart. Avoid.

UBER FANGIRL (FINAL TRANSFORMATION)

This is the ultimate form of Fangirl. If you diss the object of her desire, you are doomed to a lifetime of grammar murderings. Has a Livejournal/devinart/Myspace/xanga account. Is seen at Gaia Online and Neopets FC (about 70% of the FC are on this stage already) Has about 1000000000 posters dedicated to her object. Has the entire mercenside line devoted to her desire. Creates and joins Fanlistings. writes and reads shitty yaoi fanfiction. It created FranzxAlbert. Your worst nightmare.
Normal Fangirl: I like Itachi, hes hot.
Rabid Fangirl: NOOOOO!!! ITACHI IS MINE BITCH!!!!!
Uber Fangirl: OMG!!!!!!!! ITACHI IZ MEH FURTOOR HUSBAND!!!!! LYKE WE IZ GUNNA MARRY AND HAVE 10000000000 BEBIES!!^_________________^::::: HE IZ MINE BICHTESEE!!!!!
scary naruto narutard evil anime
by malik_of_darkness Jul 1, 2006 share this
6. fangirl 146 up, 24 down


A teenage girl who is kind of obsessed with a band, footballer, singer, actor etc. They are perfectly normal girls , dont look fat or ugly and most of them are cool people. There are a few who are completely crazy and scarily obsessed but most of us are just normal people who enjoy talking about hot guys and reading fanfics about them. Yes, we use words such as glomp and squee alot and maybe we slightly overuse punctuation sometimes but its fun! And we cant help it - if you fangirl over something its actually an emotion. You just literally cant help it.
Normal Fangirl 1: OMG!!! *hyperventilates* That is officially the hottest picture ever. Guh. ♥ Spanish footballers are ♥
Normal Fangirl 2: *also hyperventilates* Agreed, that is definately THE hottest picture ever. apart from maybe the Stevie/Xabi kiss XD And yeah, spanish guys are gorgeous.

Crazy Obsessed Fangirl: OMG!! Thats my husband!!! I married him last week and I love him so much and I would die without him!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Normal Fangirl: Okay... But yeah he is really hot =]
Crazy Obsessed Fangirl: OMG you Bitch!!! Hands off my husband!!!! Im gonna come and murder you if you ever talk about him again!!!!!! Evil Bitch!!!!!!!! I know hes hot thats why I married him!!!!!! Now fuck off and leave me alone with my husband!!!!!
fangirl football livejournal obsessed normal
by self-confessed fangirl Feb 7, 2007

7. fangirl 138 up, 67 down

buy fangirl mugs, tshirts and magnets
An overly obsessive female. When referring to anime, one is usually obsessed with bishounens such as Inuyasha, Sasuke, or anyone from Saiyuki. The typical fangirl cry is, "SQUEE!!!". Fangirls are also equivalent of stalkers and many are shot on the spot when seen.
AAAAH!!! Inuyasha! SQUEEE!!!!!!!!! *glomps* I LUV INUYASHA an u all should tooo!! X3!!!!!!

I fall under NORMAL Fan Girl BTW lol


that was only 1 page out of 8 of them as you can see most of these posts agree on one thing .... Fangirls can be scary as hell!

next is a term from Wikipedia

The term fangirl can be used to describe a female member of a fandom community (counterpart to the masculine "fanboy"). Fangirls may be more devoted to emotional and romantic aspects of their fandom, especially shipping. However, it is commonly used in a derogatory sense to describe a girl's obsession with something, most commonly a male teen idol or an aspect of Japanese pop culture. Fangirl behavior can vary in intensity. On one end of the scale are those that, while harboring a crush on a particular actor or character, are perfectly capable of understanding that the fulfilment of the crush is never going to happen. On the other end are the girls who are said to be obsessive in their claims on a fictional character, even fighting with other fangirls over who 'owns' the character in question. Fangirl behavior can fall anywhere in this spectrum, but the closer someone is believed to be towards the obsessive end, the more derogatory the use of the term 'fangirl' to describe them is perceived to be. Fangirls of all persuasions are believed to be the largest contributors to fanfiction websites, sometimes disregarding the canon storyline of their fandom or altering it to fit either their own favored romantic pairings; or themselves into the continuity (termed self-insertions or Mary Sues).[citation needed}

hmm lets consider this blog my pre blog warm up blog yeah I gave you the information needed to understand my upcoming rant lol

Being Friends

Since I am in love with my bestfriend this movie fits lol





What does it mean to be a friend?

To be a friend do you have good times with the person effortlessly or do you work to have a good time everytime you are together?

Are friends people you talk with in times of trouble who will give you advice when you don't know what to do?

what are the basis for friendship? when is someone considered a friend and not just someone you have met and spoken to on occasion.

I know many people in this world, but just how many friends do I have in this world?

Personally I do not consider someone who knows nothing at all about me a friend, that to me would be an aquaintance.

There are people in this world that we know whom we would considered friends except the only time we see each other and talk is when they are having bad times.
I personally hate people like that people who have no cares in the world about what I am going through, but the minute they have a problem they come crying to me.

I believe true friends do not need to work at having a good time together I think it happens naturally, just walking to the park can be a really fun time if you are with the right person.

In person I have 2 bestfriends Angelika and Christina , I have been bestfriends with Angelika since 2002/2003 .

I admired Angelika before I met her because her boyfriend a guy whom I consider my cousin told me all about her before we met, he told me about how she left her family in Ontario to move here to Montreal Quebec with him.

Angelika is a free spirit much like myself she is very out going and carefree, She isn't afraid to make a fool out of herself and has a fun time being herself.

Christina and I have been bestfriends for what feels like forever but in reality has on ly been half my life haha.

I met Christina in school when I was 12 , she didn't want anything to do with me but I just had to be her friend something inside told me I couldn't stop until we were friends.
In my 12 year old mind being friends with her was destiny I had to be her friend no matter what! I got my other childhood friend Cara to introduce us.

At first we became aquaintances of a sort though to her I think I was more of an annoyance haha. I would come over to her house and her mom would let me in and her little sister and I would play games together. The main thing that connected Christina and I was our love for our pets, her dog had puppies and I wanted one badly but I already had a dog and my parents wouldn't let me have another.

The main reason Christina and I got close was because she got jealous of her little sister Jessie, I came to see her but was playing games with her sister watching Sailor Moon with her and not paying attention to Christina since she was just ignoring me anyways.

After we got past Christina being afraid of moving away she and I were practically joined at the hip, I was always with her hanging out at her place sleeping oer spending the holidays there.

In the first year of friendship with Christina I was accepted into her family as another member of it and to this day call her mother mom , her little sister Jessie is my little sister, her children are my niece and nephew whom call me aunty, from the age of 12 until I was 18 I only ever missed one thanks giving with her family.

Christina is easy going , down to earth, carefree she is a free spirit and true to herself.

my two best friends are alot like me and at the same time very very different.

Christina is very generous and kind she does everything she can for her friends and even strangers sometimes.

Angie is a bundle of energy and great with children as she gets to play and have fun all the time she seems to be a very happy person.

Unless you are a stranger then she may look like she hates your very existance she needs time adjusting to people and honestly its worth the wait because once she is your friend and comfortable around you the party never stops.

I have bestfriends on line as well and we get along great we understand each other and everything always feels natural with them.
I do not have to struggle to figure out what we should talk about we find something to talk about or do even if it's totally random.

With one of my bestfriens we share music and videos she got me more interested into korean singers and actors and shares her findings with me.

Another friend and I often have deep and meaningful conversations about things that touch our hearts and lives. This girl has shared a great deal of knowledge with me as I hope I have done with her.

then I have my other best friends whom we always go towards music and singing and talking about love lives and life.

We all taunt and tease each other as we are a circle of friends connected by Yahoo chat.

I have another bestfriend who is my Biggest fan with her we talk about manga anime and fan fictions relating mostly to yu yu hakusho. We talk about some deep things and we play and joke around.

I always have a good time with these important people and I am glad they are my friends.

trust

Can you keep a secret?

How hard it can be sometimes to not tell someone something really important, you sometimes need to share what you know or feel with someone.

How do we know what we share will not be shared with someone else?

Can you trust someone with your secrets but not trust them with your heart?

Girls can be overly sensitive and insecure, so can they trust a man with their secrets but not trust them with their hearts I think so.

You do not mean to doubt them but when your heart is involved you always worry about your heart being broken, you may not worry about them betraying you by telling your secrets but your heart being torn in two is a different story

.
I love someone very much and trust this person with my life, I tell him all my serets and gave him my heart fully.

Because I have done that does it mean I trust he will not break my heart?
Of course I am under no illusions I know he will never intentionally break my heart, I love him so much and know there is a possiblity my heart can be broken.

I know my heart is safe in his hands and will not be abused.
Logically I know that emotionally however, having been hurt so many times in the past there are times I doubt myself and him.
I doubt if my love for him can ever be something tangible or if he will always be the bestfriend I was helplessly in love with but never got to have a life with.

That does not mean I will give up on the love I feel for the admirable man I love, I will instead work hard towards doing my part to achieve my dreams.

I know this girl who seemed to be in love with her bestfriend, she trusted him with all her secrets and opened her heart to him fully.
I found out however that she was lying to him about her feelings for him, the girl i thought was in love seemed to not be in love but just held really deep emotions for the guy.

It turned out the guy also was under the impression she was in love with him, that worked great for him who I discovered had secretly been in love with his bestfriend for years.

He confessed his feelings to her believing he stood a chance with her since she appeared to be in love with him.

As per usual I was asked for my opinion on the matter at hand since she wasn't sure if she should get involved with her bestfriend romantically.

What kind of advice do you give someone when you are also in love with your bestfriend?

You cannot really say I don't think thats a good idea I mean he is your bestfriend when you yourself are in love with your bestfriend.

So I told her if she really loved him and thought it could really work and that her friendship with him could with hold a break up then go for it, if you think you will lose your bestfriends by dating them then don't date them.

The girl decided she would try to date her bestfriend.
for the sake of not using guy and girl lets call him Manny and call her Samantha.

Manny was on cloud 9 as he finally got to be with the girl hes held a torch for the past 4 years or so.
Samantha however seemed to decide she really didn't want to have a life with Manny.
Samantha voiced different thoughts and feelings to two of her friends myself and a mutual friend of ours, through talking to our mutual friend I found Samantha was lying to one of us.

Samantha was telling our friend Mia all negitive things and telling me good things and so I was shocked to find out that she was lying to one or both of us.

I was also upset to hear she was talking badly about her bestfriend to Mia.
Manny was broken hearted over being dumped by the girl he has loved for so long, and I have to wonder if she was not going to be serious why did she make promises of forever with him.

I came to the conclusion she did not trust her heart in his hands the way she trusted him with her secrets, and she did not trust me with her secrets the way she trusts me with her heart.

shoulda been a lesbo

I LOVE THIS SONG AND VIDEO ITS SO AWESOME AND MAKES ME LAUGH SOOOOOO MUCH xD



I am not a lesbian, But I should be one.

I have noticed that I am often compelled to tell a woman just how beautiful she looks.
I always think to myself man she is soooo pretty! I really just wanna tell her but what if she thinks I am weird THAT way.
I often feel like saying umm don't take this the wrong way but you are gorgeous don't worry I have a man I love very much I just had to tell you that you are very beautiful.

I have an asian fetish it doesn't stop with the males though , I always want to compliment asian women because to me they are beautiful. Asian women to me are devine beauties, beautiful black straight hair * might posses a minor hair fetish* beautiful eyes gorgeous complexions and most have well shaped bodies they have the figure I would love to have myself. I love my hair color most the time but asians have amazing hair, I would love to have smaller tatas no offense but majority of asians are light chested, I hate being heavy chested most the time.
I am not a asian wanna be but I do sometimes wish I was asian just because I think the women are works of art.

the other night coming back home there was these two asian girls sitting a few seats away, the one girl had such a bright beautiful smile I really had the urge to go up to her and say no homo but you are so beautiful. I am sure that would have really made her uncomfortable and her friend would laugh at her I am sure but she was just awe-inspiring when she smiled. I had spent the whole day working with people at the canada day carnival and no one had such an appealing beautiful open kind smile like she did.

That put aside I am not a lesbian thank god I just can't help admiring beauty , I maybe a little on the weird side but I just can't help wantign to compliment women on their beaauty after all most times women dress for other women anyways.