cards gone down

why is everything going wrong with my friends and family?
it's one bad thing after the othere and I took it out and the wrong people
I feel like an fool

I never healed from everything I went through with Bryan but I acted like I had I allowed myself to simply forget everything
I solved nothing and now I pay for it once again

how do I fix something when I do not know what is broken?
it's like opneing a watch and trying to decipher what is not working amount all the small gadgets.

I need to fix this I feel I am sinking I am back to the start of who I was when I was with bryan .
I feel helpless hopeless lonely and like I have no worth I am depressed again and I do not know how to keep happiness close while keeping pain away in a healthy wise way.

no one can help me but myself
but how do I start helping myself
I do not even know what is wrong
no one but my own mind can tell me what I need to do
I do not know how to be myself because I do not know myself anymore