poems

I used to love this group and I loved this song still do



I am going to post some of my poem at random they are poems of Pain and some include Suicide you can read if you like or you can wait til I post anew.ALL MY poetry is COPYWRITTEN

my nightmare

dreams of the past come rushing in
the more I fight them
the harder I fall to the ground

I try to run from the demons
the demons that are no longer around
but still posess my mind

I cry myself blind
I thought I had all my answers
I thought my fears
were laid to rest

I check my chest
afraid Ill find a kinfe
peircing my breast
as my blood runs cold

I remember everything
so vividly
it happened so suddenly
did it happen years go
or did it all happen today
this pain is too much to handle alone

the images passed in a blur
the knives sliding across skin
the pools of blood
glass everywhere
cops rushing through the door
swinging fists
bruised flesh
rough hands
deep voices
muffled screams
tear streaked faces
my face, hands, memories and pain
everything mingled together
driving me insane



some thoughts

If I could be struck down by lightning
I would beg for it
Is that frightening?
I want to be defiled and deformed
crush me make me wish I was never born
but you do that already dont you
every word that comes out your mouth
slices me to the soul
but thats something you know very well
you locked me in this jail
release me from home sweet hell
unchain my heart from yours
let me close the doors to my cage
and walk off this stage
write me off this page of life
as I slit my wrist with a knife

us

they say true love never dies
but our love is dead
i loved you with all I had
but it wasnt enough

how can love conquer all
if we are with different people now
at the time the love was real
the promise meant to be kept
tears never meant to be shed
the love faded the promises were broken
hearts bled
and tears fell like waterfalls

we had something good
and we took it for granted
we walked out the door
and our pain slammed it
locking the past behind us
because we arent strong enough to face it
united we stood
together we fell
sometimes love can do more damage then well
for all the well intentions
we can sometimes tear a heart apart
more than we ever hoped to glue it together

I have learnt so much
from the pleasure and the pain
and although Im hurt and scared
I think Im ready to love again

Bye

mistakes were made between us
and we hold them to our hearts
using them as sheilds to repell each other
hiding behind the pain
we lost something precious
we were once so grateful to have gained

we hurt those we love the most
their hearts unguarded from our assult
tears flow easily
hearts break frequantly

past and present collide
our feelings are so supressed and hidden
we dont even know what love is anymore
its been so deformed
its just a illusion
and I am disillusional

we took each other for granted
and lost all we had
after all the pain we went through
theres just no going back

time to move on
to start over with someone new
bye bye to us
goodbye to you

Thoughts

I became someone
I thought I could love
because I had you by my side
but the more I was with you
the more lost I became inside

before I was with you
I knew who I was
I was depressed
and I hated myself
I was chock full of self loathing
and cut my arms
but even while depressed
I was confident

that confidence slipped away
as we expirenced several ups and downs
I lost faith in myself
and doubted your love
I second guessed my value
I berated my worth
based on a mans love or lack of

I never felt I was good enough
your new girlfriend
is everything I am not
she is who I couldn't be
But who are you trying to kid
she could never love you like I did

she tries to control you
to chain you to her side
she tells you who you can talk to
and those you can't
I never did that
I never made you chose
between me and your friends

I may not have had a job
let alone two
and I've never been a super model
but I was better to you
I loved you more
but she's did what I was never able to do

magical words

those magical words hurt
they cut me in two
they make me cry
and free me
your magical words
allow me to move on

I am a survivor
even though I dont feel strong
your magical words
always helped me carry on

my memories hurt
because that happy past
that painful past
wont be repeated in the future
your magical words wont charm me
they wont make things better

your magical words
i like you
i love you
please dont cry
i need you
i'm sorry
I've found someone new
I've moved on
maybe someday I'll come back to you

wished and prayed

how many times did I wish
and how many times did I pray
while crying I would beg
Please let everything be ok

all I wanted was a miracle
I just wanted your love
I craved a piece of heaven
delivered by your touch

a lasting memory
of joy and pain
of success and failure
of loss and gain

I wanted friendship
love and companionship
and I still do
but I've come to realize
I cant have those with you

how many times since we parted ways
have we spoke on the phone
not once
we text and have met
we have even slept together
when have you acted like my friend?
the answer is never

did you see me as a friend
or just a body you were able to use
someone you could turn to
when your life was too empty and lonely
did you think of me
and how you were making me feel
or was it that my feelings
weren't part of the deal

I prayed and I wished
for everything to be ok
and in my heart
I still carry that with me
every single day
its been a good 7 to 8 months now
since we broke up
and you still make me cry
even though this friendships not working
I dont want to say good-bye
but I cant seem to get over you
no matter how hard I try

I've wished and prayed
and I still do the same
only now I wish and pray
this pain would go away


Our love belongs in the past

can you see it
when you see my smile
can you feel it
whenever we talk

do you know what im hiding
do you know how hard I'm trying
to let these feeling go
oh tell me do you know

its hard to breath with out you
standing here on my own
its hard to smile
when you dont care like before
I dont know how to be your friend
when I love you so much I can die
tell me do you see
how hard I fight not to cry

dont you think your selfish
to treat me this way
I gave you everything
you just threw it all away
you dont want to love me
but you want all my love
you dont know how to be a friend
but you want me there til the end

this is the end my heart cant break anymore
Im walking away now
Im locking my hearts door
so take all your sweet kisses and words from the past
our love is over
we belong in the past
its time to move on and listen to a new lovers songs
because the way you treat me is just too wrong

that is enough for now as most of the people who read this hate me writing long posts lol